Ayatollah Hermione

They were taking some seats out today. Replacing the singing section with a praying section.

Mbabu, aside from getting sent to the shops by Ronaldo, is looking very good against Portugal. Getting up and down the line and delivering some excellent crosses. I hope he left because he wanted to go back to Switzerland because if not, selling him and replacing him with Yedlin was a piss poor move

These are the kind of things that can, and will, be taken out of context and used against you for the next 12 months. That’s how we operate.

WTF

Absolutely disrespecting Eddie Guerrero's legacy.

To be fair, I'm not sure the Sheikhs can sack a bloke who isn't contracted to us after this month anyway

Giving McMenemy a formal title

Mind, with Villa being back in the league, the worst accent race is a close one.

Don't listen to him, Dyno, I'm sure it'll be fine.

I know fuck all about boxing, really but is this equivalent to Tyson getting done off Jimmy Buster Douglas?

I thought Virgin Van Dijk was absolutely outstanding but Liverpool won that game from a penalty that wouldn't have been given had it been Wijnaldum or Henderson in the same situation as Sissoko. It must be nice walking into games knowing the decisions will definitely go your way.

The takeover is back on, baby. If anyone would know, it's THE HOSS

#OverTheLine

Clearly wasn't that invincible. - THIS POSTER HAS BEEN BANNED -

Honestly, I reckon he’d be over the moon if any of his web chats went that civil

"Put the Bombay Bad Boy Pot Noodle one on tonight, love. I fancy a curry"

I’ve doubted the local journos from the start, seeing as they’re about as plugged in as you and I. Ryder is the one with the most extensive sources at the Chronicle. Think about that for a second.

That’ll be the source who they didn’t have 2 days ago. He’s done well there to reach into the depths of a billionaire organisation and get a source considering he’s a journalist covering the North East of England.

Not one of his more unique metaphors, mind.

Someone told me that those meatheads were playing over the weekend but seems they aren't. Takeover confirmed.

Hello everyone, the flood lights are on at St James. The sensible opinion is that they're removing advertising before the rugby starts but the outlandish opinion, and therefore the correct one, is that the new lads are tearing the Sports Direct signs down with their bare hands before we see them holding the shirts tomorrow.

He’s posted some mad old shit on Twitter for being a lawyer talking about us signing Mata, Robben and James Rodriguez. Therefore, with him being confirmed as a lawyer, they’re coming in. Off to get Robben on the back of my manky new home kit.

Aye, I go to the Gateshead one, precisely because there's never any fucker in. That goes for the rest of "Trinity Square" as well tbh. Who knew that building a massive shopping complex 5 minutes walk away from a city centre wouldn't work?

If that flight is getting here tomorrow, it be taking off shortly, won’t it? ASSEMBLE THE KIDS ON HALF TERM! FIRE UP THE FLIGHT CHECKER APP!

Tbh, mate, they’re under no obligation to say anything just because the press have nothing new to fill the papers with. People say these things move quickly but I’m assuming that’s relative. Quick in business terms, I’d imagine since this wouldn’t be a simple deal, I’m sure.