Ayatollah Hermione

Did this for Chernobyl today and got the season downloaded in 5 minutes or so. It's old fashioned but it works. Bit like the classic locomotive engine.

Smells linked to the movie? So, if you went to see Men in Black, the sweet smell of horseshit would waft through the room?

Watching the Copa America and the ref has just gave it the signs of the cross when walking out. I can understand players asking God to guide their shots into the top corner but asking for divine intervention when it comes to spotting clumsy tackles is a bit much.

I really hope blasting air horns into robots ears is a crucial part of testing

Aye, that's where I am with it as well. And that means there's only one thing for it: a mental 6 months with Gattuso at the helm.

They've splashed out for Daniel James off the back of one good season in the Championship, I think their plan is to mop up all the highly-rated youngsters and turf out the older, influential players who are kicking up a fuss so it wouldn't surprise me at all that they've literally went through a list of the Premier League clubs and identified their young prospects as targets. They've also been linked with McNeill, Wan-Bissaka and Fraser so it seems like that's their plan. I can't see him leaving tbh, considering Ole loves McTominay (lol) and Woodward will want a big name to replace Pogba.

I, for one, will never listen to another word that comes out of Alex's mouth. Or as I like to call it, his shit pipe.

He seems to have done a decent enough job with the younger players at Derby this season so they might hope he can repeat it with their lot, considering the transfer ban and the older ones might actually listen to a bloke they played with. The fans will give him more time as well. Hope it all goes tits up, anyway.

Oh aye, I’m not doubting you, just that you would hope that Pardew has SOME integrity left in there. Fulham are bound to sack Scott Parker sooner rather than later

While I believe it’s something Ashley would do, wasn’t his relationship with Pardew completely non-existent at the end? It was toxic at worst and tolerable at best, from what you read.

True or false: Jonathan Woodgate

Has a degree in exorcism, the silly bastard. Should end the last show with a live Ouija Board Reading in which he speaks with Dame Catherine Cookson about her shit books.

Bad news about the break tbh. We tend to kick on when everyone else is fucked.

Not strictly top 4 but I’ll take it as an accurate prediction.

Can tell she wanted to say “one of the colonies” but stopped short.

Forgot all about his idea to get people in on Pay as you Play contracts

Can’t be real as it’s not one of the top 4 followed by a newly promoted sides first home game of the season.

I appreciate that they’ve tried with the advertising but fuck me, it’s a load of shit, isn’t it? The amount of stray passes and shit touches is unreal. In fact, it’s almost like watching *Insert Shit Team Here* play!!

Starting a side business in which I set up Fire Sticks for the over 75s. It’ll play the Bargain Hunt theme as it starts up and the font size is set to 125

What was Stevie’s bet again? My favourite Deano thread was the one where he asked everyone what they would say to the players if they were allowed in the changing room and he fired out with the most patronising, batshit patter you could ever think of. Including telling Mike Williamson that he should just pack it in and leave the club

I love how you can look at Ashley's history, how long negotiations are going and all the renewed takeover talk and come out with it being Rafa's fault for not keeping us up-to-date with what's going on

The one thing Mourinho will have going for him in his next job is he'll be desperate to prove people wrong so it makes sense he'd go for a "project" Saying that, I would worry that his eye for a player is completely gone, looking at the shite he bought for Man Utd. Fred, Bailly and Sanchez alone are enough to counteract decent signings like Matic and...Matic.

Yes, the thing everyone loves about football: the pedantry

Pickford jumping in front of Dier to take a pen is an absolute power move. He should have saved it for a proper tournament.

Aye and that VAR can basically be cheated in your favour by simply going down as soon as you feel any contact and just let the slow-mo fool the refs for you.