Ayatollah Hermione

If you're watching Eurovision for the ceremonial tallying of the points, you're in it for the wrong reasons.

Kompany has become Player-Manager of Anderlecht. Now to watch him win everything in that tinpot league, return to England and be binned within 6 months.

I’ve enjoyed it because Man City are putting in a next-level performance. Even Pep is baffled. Also, it seems like we just pissed them off

Watford’s back four of mountainous shithouses beat by a one-two of headers from the two smallest lads on the pitch

Wouldn't be surprised if Ashley were to bring up Kenedy's bad second season as a reason to not sign Rondon i.e. there's no guarantee he'll actually be good when he signs permanently. Basically, using Rio Ferdinand's shitey argument.

It’ll be the feminists. Or the SJWs denying us our gender-given right to ogle lasses in parks.

Must have been some top-class Euro trim knocking about though. Hanging off the back of mopeds in low-cut tops and such.

Pulis has left Boro with Woodgate to take over. Newcastle players of the early-mid 2000s are assembling in force to become managers.

His agent circulating rumours to get us to move for him, I’d say.

Had on, you went to the best pizza place and ordered a Margarita pizza? Glass of water with it as well, I presume.

Absolutely nothing gets done when Charnley is involved. He’s not daft. Well, he is but he’s not daft when it comes to doing daft things. If you follow.

Norwich is just an arseache to get to via any transport. My dad was down there for a while and it’s either 6 hours of one straight road, filled with tractors and horseshit or a round-the-world train trip with 5 trips to the bait bench. No, thank you. Promote a Northern team in their place @EFL

They’re holding the meeting IN THE CUBE

I can't wait to be very sympathetic to the Leeds fan at work

Leeds are falling apart...again

It was denigrated once the Americans started getting into it and, as usual, completely missing the point. Might as well make some fat dollar off it.

probably your finest post yet

Jeremy Kyle, what a dole waller. Wants to get a job

He’s probably expecting a ring off one of the promoted sides

Was just saying that to the lads at 5-a-side

Thats what I was thinking. Why is their first thought, upon returning from any social event, to invent conversations where randomers slag off Newcastle?

Hasn't Dan Ashworth taken over at Brighton? If so, it makes sense that he'd want to get his own manager in for his rejiggering.

I would survive.

Que Ta-Ra, Ta-Ra, more like

Wasn’t there something about planned work on the training ground going around recently? That, more than anything else, is a positive indicator Rafa might stay considering its the one thing he’s been pushing for heavily.