Ayatollah Hermione

reminds me of Tony Parsehole in The Viz. "Oh, still got 100 words left. The princess looked really, really, really, really, indescribably, beautiful. She really, really, really did"

Fish, is this going to go on until the end of the season? When do you go back to work?

Had nowt else in so just had a PEK omelette there. I regret nothing.

what a right prick. There'll be a day where a journalist just clamps him and he'll try and chin somebody. Again.

Right bunch of fannies, you lot.

Those lads going to the training ground just reminds me of Deano's "If you could say one thing to the players" thread full of his patronising patter.

This is the best suggestion so far tbqh

Couldn't get away with that Braid album. Or the new Blur one. This week has let me down, for shame.

Gouffran had a spell where he looked alright. Was chipping in with a few goals here and there. The problem is that, at a club with any idea how to build a squad, he'd have been a stop-gap and moved on sharpish. Instead, he's hanging about like a bad smell, totally devoid of confidence and playing out of position. We've got a load of players like that knocking about and they all need to be sold.

Aye, Colo can get fucked, he's been shite for 18 months. I'd pie Sammy off as well since I'd rather see us get some new wide-players in anyway, Aarons aside. I'd also keep Abeid since I think he's got a future in him. Also, I'd give Riviere another 6 months. See if he can get settled and play well while under some competent management, since he's shown glimpses too.

Lads, if Dave Cisse, Siem De Jong and our other band of twats can't rustle up a couple of goals to beat QPR and West Ham, we deserve to down. Also, the bottom three, as it stands, won't win two games each, stop cryarsing. If they do, feel free to come and chin me.

I really have no idea why those diets aren't sustainable.

Love how he completely ignores the manager question because he doesn't want to outright admit he's pulling for his mate to get it

All made possible thanks to Russian blood money. Shame we didn't get a Russian oil baron with a murder sheet a mile long. We'd probably be in the Champions League.

Don't worry, I got it.

I never thought I'd see a footballer panic when there's nobody within 25 yards of him but Mike Williamson pulls it off.

Any peadophiles still using the classic white van?

Also, Ryder is always using the injury line as a means of defence for Carver but why does he never question the number of injures? As in, what the fucking hell are they doing in training to get so many of them?

Imagine being in the position that Lee Ryder is in and only having John Carver as your main source, man.

the reality is that Dave Cisse will return and pull two goals out of his arse and keep us up because he's one of the only players left with anything about him. The bloke has missed 10 games through suspension, more through injury and actually started a lot less games than you think. He has 11 goals in, something like, 19 games. Had Pardew not been a complete fuckwit, he'd have been banging them in like that all this time. So, what do we want to do? Sell him, of course.

The more this season goes on, the more I find the idea of us staying up ahead of them on something like goal difference even funnier. Sad, aye. Funny, yes.

Aye, I'd almost be tempted to just give Derby the money for McClaren as soon as they finish next week. Not that he's the saviour or owt but if he's going to come in, just get him now. We need an actual coach to come in and sort this lot out. The defence, man. All you've got to do is get in the box and you've probably scored.

What the bollocks am I supposed to be looking at here?