Ayatollah Hermione

Howay man, what sort of name is that? I want it changed before he's in a toon kit.

We're doing a mighty fine job of it so far, "Lawro", you fat bin bag full of shit. It's a disgrace that they treat his shite predictions as a bit of a joke on MOTD2. Sack the know-nothing bellend!

Feedback is U2 surely?

Just have Steven Taylor doing cartwheels down the touchline so he knows he's near.

What a shame, eh? Got to be France-bound by now, him.

Haven't we already agreed a deal with somebody according to some papers?

I think Perch is excelling in that role because he's basically being told to keep it as simple as possible. Break up their play if possible, if not, pressure and track their midfield runners. When you win the ball, keep possession by picking out players like Cabaye with a better range of passing or an outlet like Gutierrez/Ben Arfa. It doesn't take a wizard to excel in that role but someone like Alan Smith can't even manage that. Sometimes your team needs that sort of simplicity in the middle of the pitch to keep a hold of possession, especially if a better pass isn't immediately on. At centre half, it exposes his lack of height and strength (though he's not a bad tackler at all, you need to be a very good tackler to make them in the box with success) which is why we'll only see him if Willamson gets knackered. We've got to remember that players dip in form all the time. Cabaye felt a drop in form recently, Ba had a poor run at the start of the season, Santon has just experienced a dip. Now, Williamson isn't of the quality of those but this is the same Williamson who had a stormer against Man Utd and has had stormers in the past. What he's good at (or rather used to be) is some no-nonsense defending. He can't bring it out very well like Coloccini but if there's trouble brewing, he would just get it out for a throw so we could re-organise and get our shape back. Now, he seems to be dallying about in situations where he would have normally dealt with it. I don't know if this is Pardew telling him to play a more passing-based game out the back, especially with Ben Arfa over on that right side now (no good humping it over the top of your outlet down that side) but he's obviously struggling. I will say what Tiote does is drop deep to collect the ball from his centre halves and spread the play from there. You lose him, you do lose some of that dynamism in midfield and Williamson, lacking an easy pass to his midfielder or opposite centre-half has to take longer and invite pressure from their forwards, especially if he's being told not to just hoof it clear. I think Williamson has his flaws but a dip in form doesn't explain why he's constantly fucking about at the back when normally he'd be a lot more no-nonsense. That's by no means a bad thing on Pardew's tactics btw, playing from the back is a good thing when you have midfielders as good as Tiote and Cabaye but Williamson isn't the bloke for it. Steven Taylor is a lot better at it so we'll see an improvement when he's back for sure. Also, a lot of goals conceded from attacks down our left side; Santon certainly isn't blameless in our goal leaking. We have the luxury of dropping him as Ryan Taylor has been solid there this season. We don't have the luxury of a back-up centre-half. Remember, we would have had Mariappa in January had it not been for Watford trying to bend us over

Beautifully put. If she was faffing about with my johnson, putting it on the bridge of her nose, I'd give her a whack with it and tell her to stop faffing about.

Pieters for about £5 million, Tiote's replacement for a bit more. Hoy in a young striker to replace Best/Lovenkrands, there ye gan.

Chelsea have got that kid on loan at Athletico, they're never going to move for Krul. Krul will stay next season, be No. 1 but Tiote will probably go. £25 million for Tiote, use it to bring in a replacement (who won't be hamstrung by ACN) and some full-backs and it's not a disaster. Plus, Chelsea don't have a proper manager, I doubt they're allowing Di Matteo to identify potential targets

Just get rid of him. Take the hit in terminating the contract, it's not like we haven't got grounds for it.

Blues Quartet - The Yardbirds?

That's what I'm thinking of. Knew Zoot Suit was in there somewhere.

The Who. Were called Zoot Suit at one point too, weren't they?

Knew it was someone from around that time. For that last one, The Doors is my final answer, Chris.

Santon's only a young kid in his first full PL season. It's not the end of the world if he doesn't start every week

Fucking hell, man. You forget some of the horror shows we had under him. And we were the ones in the wrong for seeing through him.

Telling John Carew to wear training bras that monitor how times he belches during the second half

Just checked and didn't realise he had the likes of Diop and Maynard. As you say, they should be pissing it and I imagine it's his titting about that's stopping it.

Good shout, HF. I'll give that a listen, I like a bit of The Coral. Listening to plenty power pop recently since I've been lamenting the lack of well-written guitar pop music atm and got back into Big Star and Supergrass. Those early Supergrass singles are immense and St. Petersburg from Road to Rouen is criminally underrated. What a fantastic song.

Funnily enough, aye It's just a big karaoke night, basically. Better than the fuck-on we have mind.

His tactics here were absolute dross, that should have put people off for good. Made all the more baffling in hindsight when you had Hughton achieving twice as much by getting his basics right. Allardyce can't even do that.

Doesn't matter. Guthrie was trying all sorts of passes which were going nowhere. Perch was there to keep us in possession and break up theirs and he managed them both well. He's obviously limited and not a great player but still done a job and has done recently.

Same. JUST pulling round now ffs though seeing your avatar has helped that somewhat. I love the American flag tie detail