Kitman

This just in: Sunderland AFC has announced an important new project at The Stadium of Light. Dubbed “The Big Shite Change”, fans are invited to come to the club to take part in an exciting clean up of all of the stadium’s toilet facilities. “No toilet will be left behind”, says Marketing Director Charlie Methven. “Encouraging fans to play their part in cleaning up the toilets is part of our policy of re-engaging with fans- as toilet fans ourselves, Donald and I know how important it is for supporters to have ownership of their own toilet facilities. Plus we’d like them to stop shitting on the floor and on their own seats”. Fans are invited to come along to the Stadium on 1 April to mingle with the staff and players you’ve never heard of and mop up some piss. Marigolds and SAFC themed bog brushes will be provided and can be kept as souvenirs and collectibles. ”What a great day out for the whole family!” said Methven. “Stewart and I really wish we could be there, honestly we do, but we’re really looking forward to seeing what our great fans can do for The Big Shite Change!”

“It makes you wonder what their homes are like” Erm, not really

Why the fuck does Kevin even care? What a fucking plum

58% of statistics are made up anyway

The age old desperate search for relevance. I suppose when your club is the poster child for mediocrity, an also ran toiling away in the second division, devoid of interest or glamour, you latch on to a foreign club that you identify with to try to get some relevance and stardust by association. But come on marras, choose a club youve actually got some history with, eh. If you can find one that is….not having played in Europe since the early 70s and coming from a shithole town that decent people recoil in horror from, I can understand its a bit of a challenge…

The so-called accountants

It sounds like he wants the sack

tbh any sensible fans should be satisfied with a top half finish outside the play off places? SAFC has been starved of funds by the chuckle bros and for many years has scraped by in D2. Mid table in D1 would be a solid effort imo.

Iyam the mackems have more in common with us under Ashley than the likes of Brighton. The norm for us before Bruce was a bang average manager, a bang average squad topped up with loans and contract extensions, and a lack of investment in every area of the club.

You don’t turn down Rotherham

Tramp Nou or possibly the Marracana. Or in their case the Marracannat.

Dont mention the var, Fawlty Ill get my coat

Beeewww! Beeewww! Sack * insert current manager’s name here *

Gnoto your nelly

I didn’t like Motson’s commentary at all. He always sounded to me like he was talking with a mouth full of pork pie. But y’know, RIP and all that

Maybe he’s dyslexic and thought he was getting into glue? I’ll get me coat

Tragic news. RIP

Brest is best tbh

Won’t be too long before they’re out of the top flight for longer than the two world wars combined too

The lion sleeps tonight by Shite Fit

On the river, where they used to eat the crisps

This is very good news. Undoes one of Ashley’s worst and most spiteful acts of asset stripping from the club. Fuck you Ashley!

you don’t get his sort of talent for buttons you know

I expect that the pay off from Wigan wasn’t enough for him. I doubt he intends to see out full season wherever he goes.