Kitman

This is obviously fowl play

This whole “expectation of success” thing is a bad joke. We haven’t won a domestic trophy since the 50’s or even qualified for Europe for what 10 years? And then we’ve got our arsehole owner whose net spend over his time of ownership is zero with fuck all investment in the club off the pitch too (plus a bit of asset stripping thrown in). You’d be mad to expect us to win anything (and I get the sense that most people dont even have much hope for it anymore). For lazy pundits like Savage and Ferdinand it’s a way of slapping down those “uppity Geordies” and because they sit in a studio with their mates, they never get called on it. So they repeat the same old shit year after year. For dogshit managers like Allardyce and Bruce its pure gaslighting...”oh poor me Im so badly treated by the nasty fans”.....because the real reason for fan discontent couldnt possibly be that their football is neolithic, absolutely hideous to watch, and set up to defend for most of the game and sneak a goal here and there from a set piece.....often ending in a shoeing by the better sides.

I suppose it’s an achievement for Bruce not to get us relegated. In that sense he’s exceeded my expectations this season. Thanks Steve for your service.

There’s some crackers in there, my favourite being “voiding their bowels”. Sheer poo-etry!

So another tragic season ends in League 1. Let’s see what magic their 12 year old chairman can weave. Not a lot to address other than a shit manager, shit squad, shit fans and shit all money. Should be a doddle

And let’s not forget it’s the hometown club he’s supported since he was a boy. So we’re told...

Arguably ASM and Wilson were the difference between safety and a relegation battle this season. Its possible we’ll sell both and replace them with inferior players. #rolluprollup #goodbusiness #fuckthelotofyou #notfromagoodfamily

That’s entertainment folks

Just objectively, why would you want to watch two hours of some semi articulate humourless knob in a woolly hat watching a joke club play a crappy match? I cant fathom who would be entertained by this, pisstakes aside.

hold the front page!

tbh if I was him Id be off like a shot to a big club. Who could blame him? He’s got his career to think about and I can’t imagine that Ashley, Bruce and the archaic training facilities (and I imagine Bruce’s archaic training methods) are any good for his career. Our owner only wants to outperform the bottom 3 clubs and has no desire to compete in any other context. Thats no fun and I’m sure he would get better money elsewhere.

You could buy two charlie wykes with that

Mam “What you doing up there?” woolly hat “Im making another sunlan video mam” mam “Argh no, not again, why cant you wank off to porn like a normal man?”

Ironically sugar was probably the only natural ingredient in his red bull knock off

He looks random. Like a weirdo who’s popped up from nowhere and photobombed the other three.

diggy diggy diggy! I thought the general term for absolute shite was Sheeran...who is missing “us” or “al” off the end of his surname imo

Im assuming the dullest is Coldplay?

iirc it’s a myth they were missing for most of the season anyway. A myth put about by Bruce and unchallenged by anybody in the media I should add

Every time a lazy pundit starts going on about our unrealistic expectations etc, a large bloke should walk on and punch them in the face. That’d put a stop to it

Exactly. Bruce comes out with his “I’ve been doing this a long time” schtick and they lap it up like that counts for something. Yes Steve, you’ve been doing it a long time and you’ve achieved fuck all, your teams play clueless football, and you’re widely hated by the fans at your former clubs. Somebody should tell pundits like Jenas that keeping a team in the PL is not an achievement, it’s the absolute bare minimum. It’s like a bus driver saying “Aren’t I good, I’ve been doing this a long time, I haven’t crashed the bus and killed all the passengers once”.

Bruce has never achieved anything as a PL manager and as a general proposition his teams play awful football. That should be the end of any rational discussion on Steve Bruce’s credentials.

How quaint. How old fashioned. A club that isn’t run by muppets, owned by a horrible fat arsehole and isn’t happy to lose to the BIg Six in every competition as long as it squeaks to 17th place in the league every year. Masters must be livid.

Or succinctly, an oxymoron

Nil points. Nil interest.

Several times as it happens