Dazzler

I'd like a bit of whatever he's smoking - in a fair contest, with our full squad we'd knock 3 or 4 past them, the daft cunt. Also, who the fuck is talking about Eddie's position, other than wondering if he can still do a job in defence should our injuries worsen further?

If Gordon is even fit to play, since he's currently registered as a doubt. Which I know in the world of Eddie Howe, means fuck all, but still.

You are right it definitely isn't Rat lungworm: He ate a slug on a dare, became paralyzed and died | CNN

Na fuck that - I'd definitely take him, but not until the points have come off. Fuck them they're a horrible club with awful fans and shit fireworks. I want our three points back!

Aye, dragged away by his mam and Granda to live with some weird cult. It's fucking mental. I was even more shocked to find out his Granda was a solid yet unspectacular defensive midfielder for us back in the King Kev days though.

Most things that have been smoked, particularly smoked fish can fuck right off. Smokey bacon in a sarnie because "it's all I've got in" - fuck off - Smokey bacon wrapped around a larger joint of meat can stay. Tinned/jarred hot dogs. Crab sticks. Mussels Sushi All the above can get fucked.

How long has Arteta lived in England now? I reckon almost half of his life. He lived in Liverpool for six years, therefore I refuse to believe he doesn't have full comprehension of the word "disgrace"

Any day someone paraphrases In Bruges is a good day 10-0 - Gordon with all 12 of them.

How much of our away form is down to the fatigue and injuries? It's a lot different playing in an environment where there are thousands of people against you as opposed to cheering you on. Adrenaline is a fucking mental thing. We haven't even been that shit away from home other than the last few weeks. City away - held them to a goal, how many teams will do that? Not many. Battered Man Utd at old trafford Battered Sheff Utd when the other "big" teams were struggling to put many past them. Milan - Held them to a draw. PSG - Robbed. Wolves and West Ham - Draws but these are both teams in decent form and very hard to beat, so draws are good results IMO. Brighton - Dog shit - our worst performance this season all things considered. The recent ones are down to the same players playing almost every minute of every game, coupled with it being away from home. Plus we've been away from home a lot lately it feels, that doesn't help. Once we have a bench of legit squad players back in the fold our form will absolutely improve. If it doesn't, I have a load of pitch forks and tiki torches I can sell you. I'll set up a little stand outside the training ground and make a fucking fortune.

Tonali is doing really well since his suspension finished.

Isak for Gordon by the sounds of it.

The nonchalance. The audacity of it. Beautiful.

I'm sure the carpets of your caravan/permanent abode will love them

This one made me want to lift my spirit....from my body

Got to be on the bench. He can't have been doing much training, even away from the group with a gammy back.

"so I'm told"

Have we established which on is for the sausages and which one is for the bed wetters? I'm likely to traverse both during the match, but I'd like to know which of my personalities should post where in advance.

They used to fly off the shelves(table) back when I worked at sports direct 20 years ago. It was inevitable that Donnays would come back into style, look at them... £15 for comfort, class and style. For an extra fiver you could get the ones with plastic air bubbles - in a range of green, red, blue, black or orange. The extra fiver would have you oozing in sophistication, and drowning in the finest heroin-addled blart.

Stop mocking the man!

What type of camera did you use to film it?

Well we've all given you plenty of ideas on how to get out of it, with plenty of time to start setting the scene with your boss.

Menkind have Ataris: Atari Flashback 12 Console (menkind.co.uk) 110 games built in. All shite.