Dazzler

Captain Raymond Holt is one of my favourite sitcom characters of the last 10 years or so. He made Brooklyn 99 watchable, it would have been beyond shit without him (as it was whenever he wasn't in a scene).

Nowt sadder than a pair of these bad boys getting a good swilling with sewage water:

I hope they give the people in the rows in front plastic bags for their shoes. Nowt sadder than a pair of sambas getting ruined by dirty water.

Dubs will be gutted if he's pulling a sicky for the match and Karius comes in and has a stormer of a game. I also think people have forgotten how good a goalie Karius was at Liverpool before Ramos assaulted him and literally ruined his career. He was fucking mint that season until the CL final - I don't think Dubravka has even been better than decent to good, other than during his initial loan spell for us.

Team Pissy Sausage FTW

Or fixing the roof that pisses itself onto the fans when it rains.

He's a bit old for the Dortmund model, though there is no doubting his ability to put the ball in the net. I'd fucking love him here, but I'd wager we're third in that list if he's got to choose just based on club size and history.

They probably scale their prices depending on the size of the club they play. I wouldn't be surprised if it was more expensive for the home tickets too. It's their cup final, you know marra!

The chronicle are saying Longstaff and Gordon were just rested ahead of tomorrows match.

Howe has said Dubravka's fitness is "currently unclear". "Not sure" on any players returning from injury tomorrow "You can read into it whatever you want... [Gordon, Dubravka & Longstaff missing from training] - We're two days after a game so we're trying to manage players. We'll see who's fit for tomorrow." As ever, I am not sure what to make of this

Aye but when did you last wave your willy?

I wouldn't mind trying ayahuasca or DMT now tbh. Pretty much everyone that I've seen comment on the stuff says it can be life changing - proper third eye shit. Apparently, some dealers are doing DMT vape pens these days

It looks like the shadow of a man with a winnet dangling off a very long arse hair now.

BBC is saying Burn will be back on the bench for the weekend's game, so I think it's unlikely we'll see him tomorrow but there is hope!

Aye, not many of those players have been even remotely successful so far - if any. Mudryk looks like one of the worst signings in PL history in terms of value at this point and that Argentinian lad they spunked £100m on is still trying to find his way out of Miley's pocket.

Who the fuck is NUEG?

Go out on a fear and loathing style road trip, I like it.

Just checked and he's said they aren't anymore (as of March this year) as he'd started his pro licence course.

Just the one penis. Three balls though, but I think that's normal.

Yes. Yes you are. 3 nipples and two cleavages > 2 nips and one cleavage. Two fannies over one though, now there's a debate.

Definitely - Palace in particular I'd think - Forest should be safe from relegation as the bottom three currently are awful, but the same may not be true next season. I'd even hazard a guess the West Ham fans will eventually turn on Moyes because the football isn't easy enough on the eye for them (like they did with fat Sam) and that would be far more attractive than Sunderland. There are some half decent, young managers in the championship/league one at the minute that would be a good fit for them that they could realistically poach that could work within their imaginary model, but somehow Still is who they are harping on about and it just doesn't seem realistic to me. It's the equivalent of us saying we'd pie off Howe and thinking we could easily bring someone like Simeone in. I hope it's Heckinbottom though, mind you. That would be the best outcome for us - we could do with another 8-0 win on the road to get our confidence back

Aye, he could be being straight up or he could mean that he's still getting his kit on and will be out shortly.