Dazzler

He couldn’t even pick up the phone man, his hands don’t reach his ears.

What a finish man. Sexy Swedish bastard.

He fucking tripped over his own feet. Games gone.

I reckon Burn could have coped at left back today with Ashley ‘forever’ Young on the right wing. My nanna could skin him in a one on one and she died 20 years ago.

How dare you try and jinx Southgate relegating them next year. Shame on you.

I have something like this now - One of my kids brought it home from school and it's fucking awful. I had no more than sniffles since 2020 up until September 2023 and I can honestly say I have had at least one terrible cold like virus a month since the little bastard went back to school. Tested negative every time - purely as an obligation to my parents who are both old and in poor health - B and M do the tests for a quid these days.

Bit shan that like - What's Dubravka ever done to you?

Probably the least damaging injury (assuming it's true) - Karius is no better or worse than Dubravka IMO. If it's disruptive though then it's either Bruno, Isak or one of the last two senior centre backs we have on two legs. That said, it's most likely bollocks (I fucking hope)

Though his salary is fucking mental, and no way would that ever fly here unless he took a massive pay cut so my point is totally redundant

I would definitely say Rashford. Get him in under Howe with his man management skills stick him up top (since neither of our strikers are ever at 100%) and he'll nail the goals in. He seems like a canny enough lad off the pitch, and his form is completely linked to the absolute basket case of a club he plays for and the entitled fans that constantly get on his back whenever he misses a chance. Also - the right wing tory cunts that support man utd that were against him providing food to vulnerable kids during covid. You couldn't have him on the left of a front three under Howe as he just wouldn't do the graft that Gordon or Barnes do (he's probably shit at the defensive stuff anyway) but whenever he's played central he often drops deep to receive the ball and start attacks (a bit like Isak does for us).

Him and Bruno for £100m a piece would cause absolute outrage (on twatter), but would give us a game changing amount of PSR wiggle room. I hope both stay but if they do leave for a combined £200m and we end up with 6-7 improvements to the squad including a Sesko type striker, a left footed/younger Trippier for left back, a right winger with two feet (and probably two centre backs now) then I'd probably end up happy in the end. All of this assumes that Tonali comes back in as a ready made replacement for Bruno and Joelinton signs a new contract. Joelinton leaving would piss me off more than Bruno tbh and I appreciate that is probably just me thinking that.

I believe we win by one goal, but they will score. 20-19 Schar to score all of them for both teams and break multiple records. He'll also go down with a facial/head injury at some point as is standard.

2-0. Longstaff to mistake his pain killer injection for Trenbolone and go on a rampage butchering both Bowen’s knees and scoring a hat trick

He was sacked a year before Tonali joined us. Something to do with he was not happy with the direction of the club the owners were after going in. But his signings handed them Serie A for the first time in a decade so he did well there. Viana has done a good job at Sporting too, but he was shite for us as a player so I’m torn.

That’s a bit strong. He could hardly be considered a player whilst employed by Newcastle.

Not when Maldini comes in as technical director and brings a cohort of his pals over. Maldini will know which ones have a paddy power account too ensuring we avoid such occurrences in the future.

So his global ban is up in August in time for the FA to do him for a further 8 months. I hope he likes Saudi Arabia.

There is only one outcome but it's probably the sand boxiest sandbox game I've played, the map is fucking massive. It's slow as fuck to get going, Reedus is effectively a UPS bloke in a post-apocalyptic world who can sense weird ghosts who then inherits a psychic baby who lets him see the weird ghosts. You eventually get cars, trucks, and bikes that make it less annoying to get around - and guns and grenades to kill the weird ghosts. All that said though the story is fucking brilliant, the acting is class and the ending is mint - The story is at the quality The Phantom Pain should have been at (though the game play of TPP is much more fun) - Probably should have just made it a TV series tbh.