Dazzler

Almost all of his goals except the one vs us were classic goal moocher goals. At least two of the goals were generously awarded to him - especially that one where the Leicester player slides into the net and scoops the ball in with his hand for five yards over the line tbf though that kind of striker is exactly what we're missing and is quite often the difference between a draw against someone shit in a low block or beating them.

Accept a bid for £109,999,999.99 from Barca and when Liverpool bid £110m again reject it without even reading the email. Sell to anyone for any price so long as it’s not Liverpool.

MagBehaviouredYP

FYP

Well, ladies and gentleman. That was Joe Willock's take on his substitution. Back to you.

Was he brainwashed into riding his own daughter like?

The gun He looks exactly like someone without a clue about guns holding a gun. ”fuckin pew pew. Fucking lethal with guns me like.”

Presumably villa have timed this to ensure there is no chance he makes the squad vs them. Can we accept a fee for Watkins too so he misses out?

Ah says weeew what’s that doon there wor kid. Then ah hirrim with an oioi and flicked the very tip off his shneck…then ah had the cunt shot coz he never laughed.”

He looks like Cinnabon Saul Goodman after he gets lifted.

#FreeChiesa

You’re all wrong on the chant by the way. It should clearly be. Chow, Malick Chow, Malick Chow, Chow, Chow.

"Say what, muthafucka?"

Can someone knock me up a paragraph on whether he can knock out a champagne pass, what his xHI (Head Injury) is per game and how many lunar cycles it takes for him to turn and run in another direction. Basically, we already have a German speaking nazi gold enthusiast on our books and I need to know which one I prefer.

Someone at their side is trying to incite a riot. They’ll be pushing burning wheelie bins up to the glass front at SJP by tomorrow afternoon.

“He’s given his house up and last I heard he was living in a bin. He’s raging about the transfer so the lads have taken to calling him Oscar the Grouch. He’s fucking livid. Next I’d like to field a stupid question from the lass drooling at the back and finger blasting a seagull. Louise, is it?”

2-0 us, Isak hattrick. Obviously.

Even Merson has turned. At this point Isak should just publicly slag trans toilets and lasses football just so he can get his back slapped by Joey Barton. It's his only hope.

What really happened with the Everton family then?

The dings are dead. Long live the dings.

PIF will buy Waitrose and stick ANPR in. Isak can't afford the parking fines when we're already docking his wages.