Gemmill

Crashing at 280 mph. Jesus. Hope he's alright, but it doesn't sound promising.

Ditto! I was often 'clipped' by my Dad, deservedly so most of the time although sometimes I felt it was a bit over the top but I thought from an early age that there has to be a better way of disciplining and teaching respect and so far, I've never come close to even wanting to raise my hand to them. I'm not a parent and that's fair enough if you've got kids that do respect what you've got to say etc. But I wouldn't hesitate to lay the smacketh down if the situation called for it. I fucking HATE watching shows like Supernanny cos I just want to climb through the telly and bat the little fuckers.

I used to get a clip off my mam if I was acting myself. Never did me any harm. Too much bollocks about these days about it being child abuse and that, whilst the kids run riot. A well-timed clip would soon get some of those little horrors on SuperNanny back in line.

It works. Craig out-nerded again!

Has it worked? Or has he ballsed it up?

Blind date, bobby and Meenzer! *whispers* Psssst. Nobody else go!

Aye probablys! People normally start to put their name down towards the end of the week. I'm sure there'll be people going though.

What are you doing to this poor woman?

I still can't get over the fact that Rob bealed when Diana died. I reckon that high pitched "DIANA" squeal on the day of her funeral might have been him.

Can we talk about Israel or terrorists now please?

Something which I'm reliably informed is called a credenza. A desk covered in paper to give the illusion that I am busy. That's it really.

I prefer to enjoy my meal, not endure it.

I define absolute truth as everything that passes your lips, Rob. Is that not right?

Hot chinese curry Ahhh, are you one of those hot curry makes you a man blokes, bobby? I once worked away with this lad and we had a curry one night. The fat twat sat opposite me dripping sweat into his dinner and looking thoroughly uncomfortable working his way through a phal, stopping only to dab at the sweat on his face and call me a puff for eating my chicken tikka massala. The fat knobhead!

No mention at the start that the joke was set in a mental institution. Poorly set-up.

Renton is getting a bit hot under the collar about this one. Could do with some cold pizza to cool him down a bit.

Bollocks tbh. Probably tbh. I often wonder what that stringy meat is. Ha ha I like Chinese food but the main thing I was referring too was the ridiculous cold pizza comment. Do you go into an Italian restaurant and order cold pizza, or do you wait an hour before eating it? Do you tip the delivery driver if the pizza comes late and cold? How's it ridiculous? You prefer it hot, some people prefer it cold. I'm sure Jamie Oliver said he does. You might think he's a bellend but I would imagine he knows a thing or too about food. It's ridiculous because that's not the way it's supposed to be eaten, and for the reasons I've mentioned. I'm not saying it's not OK to eat it cold the morning after, but clearly this is second best. First the worst, second the best, third the hairy princess!

Makes sense. Kristians on the Fish Quay at North Shields use animal fat btw, so if you've eaten from there, you're basically a lamb slaughterer.

Nowt wrong with cold pizza. I prefer it if it's just a veggie pizza though - bit wary with cold meat, and I wouldn't go near something like cold pepperoni cos it'll basically just be congealed grease that you're eating.

Alex, how do you know with places like that that you're getting proper veggie food, or do you just have to trust them? My sister always asks at fish and chip shops what fat they use to cook with and will only eat their stuff if they use vegetable oil. It's canny embarrassing when you've got the poor lass behind the counter who's rushed off her feet and neither knows nor cares what oil they use. You can just see her thinking "What's the right answer to this question?".

Feckless bog-frog dickhead is a good insult for Obagol. It takes account of both his Irish roots and the fact that he lives in France.

What was up with the bloke's button btw? How well hidden can a hidden camera be when it glows red? Might as well have given him a spinning bow tie with a camera in the centre tbh.

You complete wanker!

Where is he anyway? He posted on here last night, but conveniently didn't reply in this thread.

No shit? So explain to me how, knowing that, you still thought he was having a wank. He looks a bit like he's having one, but I didn't think he really was. You could have got that by reading the previous posts tbh I know you lurve that smiley