The Fish

Good signing, buuuuuut I thought we were the ones who only ever got excited about big names?

Didn't you clock the brief trend? It was Tino Asprilla, by the way.

Yeah it's like Greek football or something to me. I don't have the headspace to care about the league, and there's less investment in the international game than I've got in the men's international game. Which is the square root of fuckall.

Which strikers have you been chasing down? I thought you got that Adingra from Brighton?

I dunno, Barcelona and Bayern could have need of a striker given the age of their number 9s

No, not at all if you ask me. Any person with "agent" in their job title is a de facto cunt. Football, Talent, Letting, Estate, Secret, they're all cunts. These worms get in the ear of their charges and lie, cheat, steal, agitate, manipulate and orchestrate chaos to get the best deal. Not for their client, for themselves. Apart from Jerry Maguire

Isak's team, at least

One other thing about how we’re handling it badly: Isak isn't included in Asia squad and the club say it’s because of thigh injury. Barely an hour later Isak’s team says no, he wants to look at other option. So we’re not even in control of the fucking message.

Beat them 2-0 in a final and were the better team in a 3-3. Lets see how they fare with an older Salah and Van Dijk, no TAA and no Jota.

This is the important bit. If we sell to Bayen, Barce or Madrid, that's fine. Then we look like every other top PL team. Sell our squad players to other PL teams, that's fine. However, should we sell our prize assets to Liverpool or Man City or whomever we're confirming that we're not a challenge to them. If Barcelona pull a lever and offer us £150m for Isak, so be it. But Liverpool can fuck off.

None of us know anything about where his head is at, or what his fitness is like.

To be fair, Longstaff is 28 in October. And his style of play isn't the kind that tips the scales dramatically one way or the other. He's a solid, hard working, pretty smart (football intelligence-wide) experienced pro. What he isn't is a goal scorer, or the type of midfielder to drive a team forward, or the type of player to consistently create chances, or, or, or. He's never going to go for a big sum, especially when the world and his dog knows that we have to look over our shoulder at the PSR monster all the time.

I'm finding it really hard to remain fair and balanced on this lad. I'm subconsciously convincing myself he's going to be a massive flop. There's just something about his cockiness, his time at PSG, the whole looking like a cunt thing.

14 years ago, Man Utd were defending champions of the Premier League, they were arguably the biggest club of the planet as well. You could definitely make a case for a £10m a season deal from Saudia, but it wouldn't be cut and dry.

Swap out the mozzarella for emmental, gouda or gruyere mate. You get the stringy ooey gooey cheese, but it's a better flavour and it's not as processed.

I'm not eating it every day man. e.g. today I'm having a wrap with some chicken that's been marinating in cajun spices over night.

Doesn't the mozzarella make it too wet?

I mean, it absolutely is a mackem.