Offshore Toon

There are women on this forum? *Puts on tie*

Fine choice. Biffy Clyro - Saturday Superhouse

Who is this old cock?

A diamond has appeared from the rough in the form of Foo Fighters.

drkennethnoisewater@hotmail.com

What are the odds on Bellamy returning to Anfield after a very good season at West Ham?

It'll be interesting to see. I'll have to tape myself up before hand in order to avoid any actions that would lead to me committing suicide.

http://liveearth.uk.msn.com/event/venues/uk.aspx The UK definently has the best line up. That doesn't make it good, though.

I'm watching Wimbledon at the moment, but when Wimbledon and Live Earth swap channels, I'll stay on BBC1 as long as the line-up is good and the Kaiser Cunts don't turn up.

It probably would be better off, but it would miss out on challenges such as global warming and losing it's rainforests.

I'd be very angry if they signed Leighton Baines and we end up signing somebody like Quedreu.

I think that is just a guess on his part.

Yeah, she said.

I always stop paying attention to this around January, despite kicking arse.

It has to be the seasons when we finished 2nd.

Hmm, it's all fake. Should be interesting to say the least.

That'll be the first 19 page pullout poster ever.

you have such a way with words Nice edit.

I'd like Ziggy to piledrive Channelle on the sofa.

Asians?

I desperatly hope the fat welsh twat gets kicked out. I can't stand her. It sounds like the new housemate will be very good looking as well. Can't wait.

Don't worry about it. I'm sure you'll have a cracking night.

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour, surgical procedure. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?" Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles i n the other, lifting and moving them around. Then, she takes a close look and say, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir !!" The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very closely...... A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k ? "

Yeah, but that's because most players don't fall for Souness' "I used to be a great player, so I can make you a great player" speech.

If he goes to West Ham for higher wages, I wouldn't want him anyway.