Monkeys Fist

If he started running now, he still wouldn’t be in the box for the first game of the next tournament

You should’ve posted a pic of the pristine paper, a là Daily Star, and we could all rub it for luck. Go and have another one, quick.

Did you Ace it?

Who’s that to the right of Peter Withe?

Kane’s got an electric scooter waiting in the tunnel so he can get to and from the changing rooms in time for the second half.

Kane jogging around like he’s shit himself.

It’d be a real shame if he had to come off to avoid getting a second yellow

Looks like Walker took a smack on the kneecap sliding off the pitch.

They’re so last season, dahling.

✅

Actual bullets, I think.

The Blackadder theme lyrics fit the Spanish anthem.

How does he know it was him if he was in camouflage?

Fancy a fight?

Who? …

Mrs. F. went to a “Lindisfarne” ** gig at Wylam Brewery at 1pm with her two sisters ( one of their partners is on the stage crew, so free gig). Parting words- “ I’ll be back about 5:00, I’m not drinking so I’ll get something for tea on the way back” Just steamed in, absolutely Weebled, soooo, a swift trip to Friez and Burgz, and a top up of beverage at Sainsbury, and that’s me set for the match- she’ll be asleep in 20 minutes ** The current band have one original member- the drummer. It’s like serving up a Cornish Pastie and saying it’s Carbonara because both have pepper in them

Id say good luck Diego, but I don’t think you’ll need it.

Me too, which probably means he’ll not even be on the bench, but I’m registering my interest

Cumt ✅

Kuntsberg-“ Are you lactose intolerant Nigel “ Wide Mouth -“ Fucking sick of it, love”

Time to update my favourite joke. Trump is raping away at some underage lass when his mate comes in and says “ Hey Donny, I’ve got a 12yr old here, wanna rape her?” Donny says “ No thanks, I’ve got one ‘ere!”