Monkeys Fist

"More Redknapp than Mourinho"

Can you imagine if you'd got the seat next to him? I'd be getting off at Gateshead.

You should get a Mexican Hairless.

I'm going to piss on the back of his legs- give him some "authenticity".

My little lad, who's 5 years old, has been asking to go the match these last few weeks. I'll take him, there's no doubt about that, my principles have take second place to the fact that he's a future supporter, and hopefully Ashley will have fucked off/ died horribly by the time he's old enough to go on his own. But fuck me, it's going to be difficult pretending to be enthusiastic about it. That's what Ashley has done to this club.

I'm sure I saw her in Springfield Park licking piss off nettles. Blonde?

You animal.

Tonight's knicker-dropping menu. Starter; Tiger prawns with garlic, chilli and coriander. Main; Rib-eye steaks in red wine and pink peppercorn sauce. Roasted Cauliflower with Parmesan Wilted ( ) Spinach with roast garlic Roasties with Rosemary and thyme. Pud; Chocolate cheesecake (bought in, fuck that noise) Cheese board. Digestif; T&A.

That's illegal.

What happened to your last dog CT?

Good head, though, but.

Since I have a rare weekend off, and Mrs.F. is out with the coven, I'm having a bash at some of the Christmas beers I got from Ma Fist.

Nah, he's still a Jeremy.

I think you overestimate how much this government give a fuck.

Put the champagne on ice

The day's must fly by.

Listening to Frankie Knuckles-Deep?

Chez, under no circumstances should you shove a cut onion up your arse. Regardless of variety, your eyes will water.

Try this special trick- onions hate him!

I can see the point that Noelie is trying to make, I think. Different people hit sexual maturity at different ages-sometimes the difference between two teenagers of the same age can be startling. The point he's missing, though, is that the lass here was 15yrs old, and he knew she was. In the eyes of the law, she's a minor. No grey areas. No ifs or buts. He groomed a kid. He did it over the course of three months, knowing she was underage, has admitted to "kissing her in a sexual way", and is now being tried on two more serious charges of "sexual penetration with a minor" If he's found guilty of that, he's looking at 14yrs in jail. To address Noelie's point about 17yr old lads seeing 15yr old lasses, yes, it happens, regularly. There's probably a good few on here who dated younger lasses at 17. But that's a 2 year age gap, and in reality, very little difference in maturity. Johnson was 28. She was 15. To put it in perspective, she's closer in age to my 8yr old daughter than she is to Johnson, by a considerable margin. I've read numerous fucking Neanderthals trying to apportion some blame to the lass, which is fucking despicable. I'd ask those numpties one question- if the 15yr old lass had been a 15yr old lad, would they be laying the blame on him? Would they fuck. He's got no excuses,

Have a bath, then go shopping. Then have a bath.