Monkeys Fist

For the kit freaks Pick your most useless item. "Fruit Divider"

Oh he's supassed himself this time! Read on... https://twitter.com/#!/themichaelowen/s...878135033044992 http://mobile.twitter.com/themichaelowen/s...476837448089600 He's a funny guy

What do you do, Doctor? i'm a video journalist= Ben Dover's cameraman

Someone's in a grump Chill Kevin, have a wank … … oh wait

Mother-in-law's tomorrow for Easter. Egg hunting in the garden with kids, nieces and nephews, then double roast, beef and lamb with all trimmings, followed by her desserts; Chocolate sponge, coffee cake with butter icing, strawberry pavlova, rice pudding. All home made. Plenty of wine to help it on it's way. I am CT

"What you been up to today?" "In the kitchen, baking like a gay"

Good post toughguydafydd.

1-1 away to Blackpool. Oh what fun. Triumphant tbh.

Everyone round to Ant's tomorrow for bait then?

HIV+ ?

Hole of the month competition?

no, keep the balaclava I agree , it's fucking delicious.

Tell your sugar daddy to take you over a railing next time Kevin. It's all about prevention.

PM - fest in the offing Mr Shinton?

My brother in law has a flat for rent if they want. North Shields.

"Jam & Spoons" This only perpetuates the myth that Monkeys are violent masturbators , which is just wrong. Err.…

Tidied

Most inappropriate possible Dippers sponsor?

One's a cunt. Hughton isn't.

To answer the op ( now that my hoop has been " Imbruglia'd" ), you either make every Saint's day a national holiday ( George, Andrew, David and Paddy) or you do it according to country- ie England gets a day off on George's day , Scots on Andrew's etc. The problem with both is Norn Iron. I reckon giving them Paddys day off would upset the Unionists. That's assuming NI doesn't have it's own patron saint, please put me right if you know otherwise.

Took your advice since you're a Dr. ( non-ninja variety). Wish I'd filed my nails first.

Start a poll man!

My rancid hoop is particularly itchy. Should I ; A) scratch it B)apply a soothing emollient cream C) suffer like a bitch.