Monkeys Fist

Have a word with Gloomy, has the opposite problem.

Is that Ronnie Pickering?

Remember when you turned up to work in a ball gown and the gaffer said ” Go on then, give us a Twirl?” Happy days…

My lad asked me why boxers usually don’t have sex in the weeks leading to a fight. I said ” They usually don’t like each other mate “

I’ll be releasing the bomb bay doors soon There’s few finer feelings than an empty gut after carrying a blind trout around.

Decent piece on Howe from the BEEB here The quotes from the players shows just how much these lads respect him. Nice little mood setter for this afternoon.

So, more omens. Saturday night/Sunday morning on the A1 south means closures, always one, often two or three. Last night, not a single one. Clean run, barely any traffic. My first drop is 5 miles off the M25 at Dartford, traffic lights and roundabouts all the way. Both in to the depot and and back out to the M25, not a single red light, nor even having to give way to traffic on the roundabouts- never fucking happens. The lad driving the forklift was the spitting double of Thabo Mbeki, president of a country where the underdogs eventually won, aaaaaaand, because aye, that’s a stretch, he had a black and white striped scarf on. I’ve put all these through the online Omen Interpretation Calculator and the result was; CANS. It’s happening lads

It’s on ITV too- not sure who their blabber squad is, but it’s not fucking Spit the Dog.

It would be foolhardy of me to identify my employer on t’interwebs.… … but zoom in bottom right of the driver door. I’m sure you can guess

Aye- he’s a Manure fan, worse still, from Manchester.

If you’re serious about taking one for the team, your subject matter is clear. Try injecting some Bong first.

It’s a beautiful, if icy, morning down here in that there London. Having consulted my Book of Football Omens, this means that it’s the Iceman’s day, winning hat trick incoming. ( I just need to make sure I wake up in time for the match ).

Goes back to the 70s. Both teams were facing relegation. Both had their last game on the same night. Mackems just had to match Coventry’s result to stay up. Meant to KO at the same time. Because of an accident or something, traffic was bad in Coventry so Jimmy Hill delayed KO by 15 mins. Mackems lost their game 0-2. Coventry drew 2-2. Coventry stayed up, mackems went down and stayed down. So, because their own team weren’t good enough, the Morlocks hate Jimmy Hill

“ Only 50% bothered to turn up…” The fucking cheeky bastard!

Just had a shite and aced it- total ghost wipe. Liverpool might as well not bother

I’m only wee

I forgot to ask earlier- what are the other two?

This is from Swindon the night before.

I’ll be fucking furious of that happens. If we put a performance in, and lose to these, fair enough- they’re where they are in the league for a reason. But if we don’t even turn I’ll be well fucked off. I have a feeling we will surprise them, tbh.

For a relatively small board, we do seem to get more than our fair share of Daffy’s Jisms. Most of them are Quiff, but still…

If Joelinton told you to turn up for training the day after a game, would you argue with him?

Can’t miss it- it’s got a restaurant called “ Nee Idea Pal?” built in the side.

Same crack- had a minibus We insisted on pulling in at some little market town in midlands so we could get more beers as we’d necked our stash Poor cunt We spent the night before in Swindon as we couldn’t get anywhere in Cardiff itself. First hour or so we were wandering around this deserted urban depiction of average, the town centre, totally dead bars, and thinking “ Well, this place is a fucking dump, might as well head back to the digs and get trollied in the pub there ?” We decided to go for one last pint before we fucked off back, opened the door of this Wetherspoons knock off place, and got hit with a wall of sound- the sound of several hundred Geordies absolutely wankered and taking over the place! I think it might have been Keith Whossname’s buses all staying the night there? It was mint- the place had an upper floor with a balcony looking down on the bar area below, upstairs was ours, downstairs was mixed. We were pissing ourselves at the married couples in their thirties, out for what they thought would be a quiet drink in town- loads of them walked in, stopped dead in their tracks- you could actually see the thought “ what the fuck…”form, and did an about turn “ WE CAN SEE YOU SNEAKING OUT!” Fair play to a couple of them who came in and had a drink or two, joined in the fun, but then fucked off as the night went on it because it became mental The town had one strip club and a curry house next door and they must’ve thought it was Christmas- rammmed to the gills with pissed up Magpies Next day was just as good- before kick off we had a square next to some Pasty shop that was doing a roaring trade, two Manure fans came strolling round the corner, oblivious until it was two late. This voice on the crowd pipes up ”Alreet lads, fancy a beer?” and within seconds the poor cunts were soaked to the skin with multiple pints over their heads. The Welsh Coppers were pissing themselves at that

Win or lose- have some booze!

Like any of the tinpot clubs they’re playing are near an airport