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Monkeys Fist

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Everything posted by Monkeys Fist

  1. Monkeys Fist
    We not counting the Roomba you just dumped like a bag of laundry when the dog replaced it in your affections?
  2. Monkeys Fist
    Also… Gemmzi making puns????
  3. Monkeys Fist
    What’s impressive is that’s just the tip…
  4. Monkeys Fist
    Spoilers man!!!
  5. Monkeys Fist
    It was the way she held his season ticket.
  6. Monkeys Fist
    That’s the bastard! The size of her fiver! You could build a couple of new-build housing estates on the thing. Nae chebs, like.
  7. Monkeys Fist
    Just heard that Roy Ayers died last week, aged 84. Fucking legend. Here’s him at 77 doing a Small Desk Concert. He does a tasty version of his most well-known track from 16:00 onwards, but if you can’t be arsed with that, here it is
  8. Monkeys Fist
    I can’t remember the name of the lass who brought him down, but she looked like she’d had Bell’s Palsy and also had an absolute fivehead. Presumably registered blind, too.
  9. Monkeys Fist
    100% guarantee that our resident bitcoin expert has eaten more than one tin of that.
  10. Monkeys Fist
    As is often the case with these feckin’ eejits, they’ll take a harmless fact- powdered aluminium was tested, mildly successfully in the 60s, as a cloud seeder to encourage rainfall, and then put it through the loony tunes mill and come out with a completely arse-backwards, tooth-looseningly stupid “theory” which, surprise-surprise, is the Shadow Gubmint’s doing but only the “enlightened” realise.
  11. Monkeys Fist
    Which of the following peer-reviewed scientific sites did he use to do his research? Facebook, Tik Tok or Twatter?
  12. Monkeys Fist
    Tell her to ask for directions from wherever the game is back to her house- she’s been there before, shouldn’t be a problem. Then get the fucking airhead to reverse the directions.
  13. Monkeys Fist
    It means CT has just moved one rung up the pyramid scheme he’s been trying to flog us for months by recruiting Trump.
  14. Monkeys Fist
    You’ll have no pictures soon.
  15. Monkeys Fist
    Calling that goatse is a bit of a stretch, mind.
  16. Monkeys Fist
    I think the punters in the Flying Scotsman would be very welcoming
  17. Monkeys Fist
    The Perminator was popular
  18. Monkeys Fist
  19. Monkeys Fist
    Hungover like a bastard. Mam’s funeral yesterday and the drinks kept coming afterwards. Ouch
  20. Monkeys Fist
    Remind me.
  21. Monkeys Fist
    Whaaaat?
  22. Monkeys Fist
    Who gave you permission to post pics of my son???
  23. Monkeys Fist
    I regard it as an industry award night- I’d definitely not watch the North East Parking Control Annual Award Dinner, live from the Village Hotel in West Allotment. I view the Oscars the same way, as it’s the same thing. Granted, with nicer tiddies.
  24. Monkeys Fist
    Nice to see the reasonable side of the population haven’t totally given up hope.
  25. Monkeys Fist
    I’m actually quite grateful for my Mam’s impeccable timing in pegging it- takes my mind off the other shitstorms flying around.
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