Monkeys Fist

Aah, dear Derek.

Given last night’s shenanigans, fyp.

Too late, he’ll have hit his vinegars before the ball hit the back of the net.

Proof the Lost Neck Monster exists.

Last time they were in the PL was 2016-17, when Hippo Heed fucked them off for his comically short tenure as England manger, and Moyes found out that there are, in fact, more toxic supporters than Everton on the planet.

Since 1879 I think

I’m genuinely torn between hugely enjoying their extended time in the nether leagues where they belong, and wanting them to nip back up here with the big boys for a season, purely to see them comprehensively battered by all and sundry but also their pained response to “new friendships requests” getting the Spanish archer from everyone unfortunate enough to receive one.

When it said “leading headteacher” I almost instantly knew it would be this cunt

The actual footprint of it will be quite small Memorial community garden I’d propose.

40 minutes to figure out it’s a whanger… Fuck me Renty

I’m simultaneously puzzled and highly amused by Bert Boxing and his dedication. He never posts elsewhere on the board, never gives up his righteous cause, even when the matches he’s utterly failing to drum up interest for are poorer fighters than you’d see in the Turbinia on a Monday afternoon

Albert’s or Chisora’s

Was it Chisora that had the soles of his boots sponsored, or was that some other highly talented pugilist?

What was so impressive to me about the 1st leg was that we kept the same relentless pace for the entirety of the game. I reckon if we get a goal or two, and the prospect of a final is within reach, the lads might just find that little burst of adrenaline to do the same. Dont get me wrong, I’m shitting it like everyone else, because this is NUFC after all, but I’m not dreading the game- the opposite tbh.

Aye, chin up Craig. You know these episodes are temporary, so try to bear that in mind when the lows hit. Hope the Lads can do a job tonight and give you a boost?

Left Inverness at 10:00pm last night with 27 tons of chipboard, just arrived 4:40am at the factory in the heart of @PaddockLad territory- Selkirk. Lad came out and started making mouth noise , lots of vowels, some consonants. No a fucking clue what he said. Anyway, after some sign language and what-have-you, I’ve got to wait until 6:30am before any cunt arrives to unload me. Ffs!

Bliddy Hell man! Niw you’ve got me warry of string.

Are the babies less dead, then?

“A panel of experts, chaired by Dr Shoo Lee, examined the cases of 17 babies “In summary, ladies and gentlemen, we did not find any murders,” he told a press conference in Westminster on Tuesday.“ He’s got to be wrong about this, shoo lee…

Seems like you lads have opinions which are polar opposites …

Englishman, Irishman and Scotchman walk in to a bar. The barman says ” Fuck off, I’ve heard this one! “

Oh yes indeed 5-0 You heard it here… … in the first leg predictions.

Does he mention the state is failing in large part because of him and his Brexit bullshit? No? Well, knock me down with a side of gammon.

Totally worth it.