Monkeys Fist

Phil the Greek- “ Can’t be having these bloody arab royals stealing the headlines Lizzy, eh what?”

They’ve got to earn a crust somehow until the Real Madrid gig lands.

I only realised today that Dubai is ruled by Ringo bin Starr.

I don’t think you’d get much for him.

I’ve kept quiet on this for an awful long time, but I can no longer stand silent. We’ve all had to make sacrifices during this pandemic, but the Darras Hall community has been hit particularly hard - since the closure of pubs and restaurants many have no option but to employ private chefs, just to keep themselves alive. Steve is a dearly loved member of this community, and on top of the privations they’ve all faced, he has had to be driven to Benton every day ( except Mondays and Thursdays which are crisp delivery days when he has to stay home). All this, and he’s the lowest paid manager in the Premier League ( £83,000 per month- 3x average annual salary, bonus for avoiding relegation and supplement for every place above last three at end of season). As if this wasn’t bad enough, since he’s not on social media he must rely on his son to pass on his daily death threats, tactical ridicule, and calls for dismissal. Can we cut the guy some slack?

JLNTNYHDLY. Clue- He don’t need this pressure on.

Speaking of anal pustules, here’s Chris Sutton’s measured take on our recent form… ”You look at the recent performances of Newcastle, second half against Leeds they were unlucky not to get anything out of the game and against Everton they were superb and against Crystal Palace they had the better chances. The win against Southampton when they finished the game with nine men - Steve Bruce certainly hasn't lost the dressing room.” It’s not just the players who take the money but can’t be arsed.

Given my opening post in this thread, I’d say I’m more solid at the back than this shower.

I hope Steve Bruce and his dogs have a lovely walk tomorrow now that the snow has gone- he’s a lovely guy and loves his pets.

There’s the answer.

From Multi Coloured Swap Shop? That’s him/her.

Brenda Lee Cattermole. ffs lads, you’re slacking. Here’s an easier one. GRGMCHLWN Clue- both guilty of crimes against fashion due to double denim.

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Last round of questions in Only Connect was the missing vowels round, subject was footballers crossed with singers. eg. DBBYH RR YKN answer- Debby Harry Kane so, here we go. BRND LCTT RML

Aye- how’s your cross-stitch?

I’ve smashed by personal best on Only Connect and it’s not even in the last round.

I have an ingrown hair millimetres away from my anal exhaust pipe. Using mirrors, TCP, needles and red wine, I will be self-extracting it, rather than watch this. Bruce is a lovely bloke though- he once saved a puppy’s life from distemper by ignoring all the signs and symptoms and insisting the puppy was fine.

You'd think if his business was doing that well the fucking tramp would be able to afford another jacket.

What am I gonna do?

I read that in a Mexican bandit accent.

This? It’s not too bad, also… tiddies warning!

I’m sure they’ll have given Jimmy Hill’s statue a good talking-to afterwards.