Monkeys Fist

Two Australian mathematicians have shown that CT will finally get the hang of this football thing long, long before any monkeys knock out Shakespeare on a typewriter … https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c748kmvwyv9o

Half of them are Gemmill being wrong about Everton.

Bitch.

Sally Phillips is worth a bead of sweat, no shame in that. Miranda though- I think I laughed more at my Dads funeral

I save a lot of time and effort and just punch my kids square in the face.

If you want cheering up, I’d highly recommend switching Miranda off.

The lad to his left appears to have started making his furry costume, then thought, Fuck it- can’t be bothered.

You sure it wasn’t spelled “Bludging”?

Apparently Trump wore a binman’s uniform to deliver his rally speech in Wisconsin… (fuck knows is the answer to the obvious question). The fucking state of him man… He makes a Hi Viz vest look like a muted pastel colour.

I thought he’d been peddled? Or is that some other freak at your gaff?

I was going to say, it clearly doesn’t show how thick the book isn’t in the picture- no way there’s more than 3 pages 2 of them will be pictures.

Btw, of course, they have a thread about the above culinary abomination https://www.readytogo.net/smb/threads/pan-haggerty-v-panackality.711879/

Panackulty Tak some tayties, carrots and onions from next door’s allotment, and give it some with a shiv. Scrayup out the chip pan, put the salad bits in, then follow Callum the staffie with ya pan until he drops a shite on the carpet. Put it in with the salad, cewk it on a lightbulb for a week, then eayt it with a bap.

“ ALl I WANT FOR TITZMAS, IIIIISSSSS YOOOOOOOOOOOO!” In a change from tradition, I’ll say 5-0, 6 of them being deflections off Mariah’s jammers, 2 being their keeper slipping in puddles of jizz.

Tak some chips, from the chinkies if the mrsister is busy having another bairn. Tak some cheeyse. Mix them up in a box or summat. Wallah- Cheeysey Chips!

Just got up, totally missed this- we won????? I assume Cauty and Drummond will retain their strike partnership in the QF?

Not me- no shopping bags in sight. Anyway, here’s @Howmanheyman going to bed after a dodgy pint …

As I alluded to a few days ago, something is very “off” in the Trump campaign- none of the hangers-on and bullshit merchants from his previous runs have made much of an appearance, there’s an awful lot of “decent” republicans coming out publicly against him, his family have barely been seen bar that coke-freak married to Cunt Son No. 1, and Melania dragged herself away from being buckled by fitness coach to stand on stage for a couple of minutes in New York. Everyone of any note, bar that cunt Musk, have stepped away from the stinker. I reckon his staff know he’s lost his marbles and are just waiting for him to get locked up. Doesn’t stop the crazies from MAGAing their way down to cast their MAGA vote then doing some vocal MAGAisms for the cameras, but I reckon he’s shat in his own bed… … and pants, and in his bedside drawers, on the golf cart, in his boxes of classified documents etc.

Shortest runway I’ve ever seen.

Normally I’d back us for a win, but travel time to Mongolia, combined with the noise outside the hotel from hordes of Tuvan Throat Singers has given me pause for thought. So, in a slight break from tradition I’m going for 5-0 to us. Hat trick from Jimmy Cauty, brace from Bill Drummond, and one each from Sven Adult Botman.

Fyp

Third on the bill? I guess it’s alright…

Just realised my Dictionary has swapped the meanings of entomology and etymology. I can't find the words to describe how much it’s bugged me.

This is where all that time and effort securing Ashworth’s services is about to pay off for the Theatre of Screams mob. He’s got the contacts, has the science, and puts on a mean spread sheet, and I’m sure no one will expect Southgate as the next Red Mug.