Monkeys Fist

What’s on the sell list then? Metectors Fishing Rods? Paddleboards? Why not fashion them in to some kind weather shelter for this year’s outdoor sofa, and get a few more months of al fresco self abuse? Something like this…

Name that tune

Sorry mate, it’s a bastard hitting the right keys with pink eye.

One of the lads in the fourfthrd fight down has been dead since 2005, and he was missing a finger…

You’d need to be wearing scuba gear if you were within 50ft of the scouse weirdo butchering that phrase with their wonderful accent, La.

I tried but he only lasted two days- didn’t like the “terms and conditions” … … specifically, PPE is optional.

Pro tip- just use Google maps mate. No need to join the Army, you can wfh,and it’s got all the paths on!

“ You wash my Barse, and I’ll wash yours!” Dr. Martin Luther King. 1896. To Emporer Hirohito.

@Howmanheyman Renton put on warning.

Lasers wouldn’t work- she’s so ugly she bends light.

That looks a Fender made by Gibson He’s very good too, all the more impressive because he can’t see his hands…

I’m telling myself that yer man on guitar… … is just an unusually chubby dwaaaf, rather than too fat to stand and play

Fyp I wonder if we should stop referring to her as Denise Squelch, since she’s gone dry?

Many branches?

They’re only pictures, they’re not real ladies, you know.

Did it say if he liked hobbies and sofas?

Is she a prolific home cook?

Tricky one this- we need a win combined with a good, high energy, convincing performance. So for that reason, I’m going to break with tradition and say.… 5-0. 4 Minteh o.g. 2 a-piece from Isak.

Things that make you go…

Shouting across the pitch to his marra in opposite stand, ” Eeya, Mick, me cheeyse slice looks like a Lion!”

Tbf to the Morlock, most match going Marras won’t be used to any noise at the ground, spare the odd grunt as someone pinches one off.

When I didn’t work in an office, I found a standard reply of a picture of some pig’s bollocks with “ HOW ABOUT THEM APPLES?” written in red capitals ensured I never got another. ( some or all of this maybe be alternative truth).

Gentle reminder… we’ve done this already.

Six months ago, when Albert’s brand new LG TV and Dobly soundbar got repo’d because of his raging coke habit… Now, new telly, new speakers, new nose…