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Monkeys Fist

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Everything posted by Monkeys Fist

  1. Monkeys Fist
    At the shite end of Gt.Lime Road? Did some twat build shitty houses on their pitch or something?
  2. Monkeys Fist
    HMHM isn’t a c
  3. Monkeys Fist
    I could’ve lived it without learning of the lava-like properties of Piz Buin.
  4. Monkeys Fist
    They’ll have it when there’s 12 of them watching their side getting battered off West Allotment Celtic.
  5. Monkeys Fist
    RTG’d that for you
  6. Monkeys Fist
    Long story short, ran out of keks after a week of putting up tents in hot sun, made the mistake of going commando for a day in cut off denim shorts. By the end of the day my starfish was like Lesley Ashe’s duckface. I had a bottle of aftersun and thought “ that’ll sooth it”. About 5 seconds after I slapped some on it… I actually did a handstand in the shower to soothe the puckering for about 20 minutes. Don’t put after sun on your sweaty winker, kids
  7. Monkeys Fist
    Who do they think they’ll get that’s better than him ? They’re going to run out of managers faster than they’re running out of money.
  8. Monkeys Fist
    Was that before or after they fell out of the Championship? I can’t remember because I was seething with aforementioned jealousy. The only, sole, single, solitary thing these fucking mouth breathers have ever consistently bettered us at is being spectacularly shite- no matter how hard we try, they always fuck it up way better than we do. It’s masterful
  9. Monkeys Fist
    Do you know anyone that’s ever molested a brummie? I rest my case
  10. Monkeys Fist
    It was grown ups that touched this muppet in “the secret place”. Not for long though, he was too boring for even the nonces.
  11. Monkeys Fist
    That’ll confuse the witless cunt for a few weeks.
  12. Monkeys Fist
    Imagine not only being a brummie, but being a villa fan too.
  13. Monkeys Fist
    He could ask him when he’s going to kick out the Anti Semite, Rees Mogg?
  14. Monkeys Fist
    Did I ever recount the tale of when I applied after-sun milk to my puckered and tender balloon knot whilst I was “working” my way around the Mediterranean?
  15. Monkeys Fist
    Well that’s a ray of sunshine on a shitty day.
  16. Monkeys Fist
    Straight after they’ve gone through the script.
  17. Monkeys Fist
    Good, I’ll look forward to him eviscerating Johnson on his well documented racism, homophobia, misogyny, Islamophobia and Antisemitism.
  18. Monkeys Fist
    Can someone tweet the below quote at Neil and suggest it as his opener for Johnson? “That means disposing of the first taboo, and accepting that the problem is Islam. Islam is the problem. What is going on in these mosques and madrasas? When is someone going to get 18th century on Islam's medieval ass?”
  19. Monkeys Fist
    “Anyways, five things don't right themselves”
  20. Monkeys Fist
    That’s why Boss Rabbi hates him!
  21. Monkeys Fist
    Yep, saw that before. Piss off you left footer.
  22. Monkeys Fist
    That’s just stupidity. Ffs. In the interest of non bias, though (), If she was to list the “isms” that Johnson is guilty of, 140 characters wouldn’t be near enough.
  23. Monkeys Fist
    Did the sentient scrotum mean “mandem” ? What a fucking whopper.
  24. Monkeys Fist
    It’d be totally underwhelming to see the demographics of who responded to that survey.
  25. Monkeys Fist
    * insert relevant poop joke here.
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