Monkeys Fist

The fucking size of Neville Southall’s big bangers!

I always pictured Hatem with innies, tbf.

Relieved. Just passed my Level 3 Rope Access ticket (again)- three more years of fun and frolics on dangly string. After a week of rescues, though, I’m absolutely fucking battered - I think I might have caught arthritis this week

Gloomy’s bedsheets looking a piece of used bog roll

Transphobic. Reported.

League 1-1

RTG is their spiritual home, tbf.

2-1. Carroll hat trick.

Boo Tom! I didn’t get to use “ Now Go Home & Get Your Fuckin' Shinebox!” Bring back the Everton One

“One night, Derek Acorah sent us champagne. There was nothing like it. I didn't think there was anything strange in any of this. You know, a twenty-year-old kid with such connections. He was an exciting guy. He was really nice. he introduced me to everybody. Everybody wanted to be nice to him. And he knew how to handle it.”

Let me guess- One day some of the kids from the neighborhood carried your mother's groceries all the way home. You know why? It was outta respect.

Fair enough, you’ve probably never met them.

Biggest club on the planet In your own city, never mind anywhere else, you’re the Freeview club as opposed the Sky Sports club. I’m intrigued why you’ve chosen to come here and make a cunt of yourself as opposed to a Palace site, or a proper Liverpool club site? Has your lass just told she’s getting bucked raw by some Geordie lad, or was it you that got bucked raw by one of our lads? I’m mildly interested.

Let me guess, you have a beard, tattoos, and love your kids?

Said Woy, today.

Too easy. Must try harder.

You’re the sad cunt that signed up to another club’s board on a Saturday night, looking for a fight, not me. The onus is on you. Fire away Einstein, give it your best shot. You won’t though, because you can’t, because you don’t have the intelligence. You’re an Everton fan, ffs

If I thought for a minute that you’d be capable of a decent battle of wits, I would. But it let’s be honest here, you’re about as bright as a lump of coal… painted with vanta black. Be my guest though, Dave, have a go.

Thicker than whale spunk.

Foul going’s on in Kenya https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-49290641

The former Gazza lookalike to his left obviously has B.O.

I thought you’d managed Ashford FC, tbh. Didn't realise you were a Sweaty.

Prius. You fucking sex God.