Monkeys Fist

Typical Tory. Lies first, then denies it.

Fucking God-botherer now, are we?

Fixed that for you

Who read it to you?

Go to Keswick mate. It’s got some mint museums…

The Shitter is never going to be allowed to forget his discrapency.

East Fife 4 Forfar 5 - the comedy result that finally came true (on penalties) http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/44916496

Except that Langas bloke is a Newcastle fan

I think he means South Gosforth- the roadworks are insane!

Your wallet?

Go on son! Right in the button mushroom.

Told you to stop licking rocks.…

Does it ask to feel your muscles?

Let’s not forget, gents, that we could have been discussing the fucking joke of a tournament we’d have had under Hippo Heed.

Excellent! They’ll love my standard opening order of “ Two pints, garçon, and nen of ya shite”.

Don’t be stealing my thunder here, you pescatarian pest. ( but belated birthday thingies ).

I came first in the sack race.

Booked a table at Martin Wisharts place, The Honours. https://www.thehonours.co.uk/ I fear it may sneak some pea foam on my dead beast when I’m distracted by the waves of pretension 😄

Which one though?

At Sports Day where all the fit Mams are in their sports gear.

37 is possibly the most nondescript of all birthdays/ages.

Leave Jezza out of this … Do have to shave your nose yet? Yes, …I do.