Dafydd 0 Posted June 8, 2011 Author Share Posted June 8, 2011 Babestation signs Miss Cole X Factor star Cheryl Cole’s Geordie accent may have flopped in the US, but things are looking up for the Babestation-bound singer back home. Cheryl’s Geordie twang has been pinpointed by scientists as the ‘most wankable’ in Britain, prompting a big money offer from the soft porn TV channel. Babestation bosses will offer the first lady of Tyneside a £1m-a-year deal to chat dirty to clients in a state of drunk self-loathing at 2am in the morning. And while station chiefs are keen for Cheryl to ad lib, they have already identified some sexy phrases for the Girls Aloud success story to mouth. ‘Eeee, that’s me Greggs pasty yer lookin’ at’ and ‘Ooooo give us a kiss on me stotties,’ are among a string of set phrases designed to push the buttons of male viewers. Babestation executives commissioned scientists at the Nottingham Institute of Headline Producing Research to find out which accent is most likely to please their viewers. “In tests we found Irish accents were too potent. Our clients were done in seconds and their average spend was just £2.50 for a short call,” said Babestation’s head of user experience Andy Dennis. “The two accents we favour are the Geordie and cockney twangs. They sound dirty, but they are also really annoying, which means clients can’t quite finish the job for the temptation of shouting ‘shut up!’. They spent a fortune as a result.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy Castell 0 Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 As opposed to a scouse girl? It would be like getting a dirty phonecall off Gordon the Gopher. Look at that Jennifer Ellison, she was nice looking and all that, but as soon as she opened her mouth it was like Emlyn Hughes being bummed by a car-sized mosquito. Sorry Dafydd, but you're just wrong on the accent thing in general, but the thought of Cheryl Cole asking someone to 'wank on me stotties' on Babestation is funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveTheBobby 1 Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 As opposed to a scouse girl? like Emlyn Hughes being bummed by a car-sized mosquito. played William "it's on the tip'o me tongue, it's on the tip'o me tongue" like alan ball in an icebath playing a comb .* a regional accent that induces the involuntary reaction of putting your hands in your pockets too . * or kazoo . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 6009 Posted August 24, 2013 Share Posted August 24, 2013 How do you cover shitty tattoos up? With an even bigger fuck off tattoo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted August 24, 2013 Share Posted August 24, 2013 Would love to take her up the hoop like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monroe Transfer 0 Posted August 24, 2013 Share Posted August 24, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 12820 Posted August 24, 2013 Share Posted August 24, 2013 Would love to take her up the hoop like. I'd have full on sex with her, if you catch my drift. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 27311 Posted August 24, 2013 Share Posted August 24, 2013 Although that tattoo is horrendous it still wouldn't affect my enjoyment of having my pipe blown by her as well as sexual intercourse. (or even sexual interflora in tribute to her tattoo). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 12820 Posted August 24, 2013 Share Posted August 24, 2013 Bit of a boy arse in that picture though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 6009 Posted August 24, 2013 Share Posted August 24, 2013 Eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JawD 31 Posted August 24, 2013 Share Posted August 24, 2013 I like tattoos as you might now. I'm very much each to their own and all that. That said, that's pretty horrid. I know it a cover up but it's ruined the look of her arse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khay 8 Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 If true that's not very nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 27311 Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 I wonder what the black dude from 'black eyed peas' thinks of it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gejon 2 Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 She'd have my spunk all over her back before I'd even managed to get it in, tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17905 Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 Hideous, an erection killer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 19915 Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 Hideous, yes, not sure about killing a boner when you look at what it's covering Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken 119 Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 Hideous, an erection killer. This is what people who think too much say... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Carr's Gloves 3233 Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 Time to put a prick between them roses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty84 0 Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 cudda been worse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 10096 Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 cudda been worse I dread to think where the 7th dwarf is..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 I dread to think where the 7th dwarf is..... I'm here, whats up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38966 Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 Not Renton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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