mackem messageboard gold

[thebrokendoll 14267]

what the fuck is this??

 

[Sonatine 13488]

5 minutes ago, thebrokendoll said:

what the fuck is this??

 

[Alex 42155]

 

[RobinRobin 14510]

Perhaps even more appropriate 🙂 

[Howmanheyman 43941]

1 hour ago, thebrokendoll said:

what the fuck is this??

 

 

 

Edited October 11 by Howmanheyman

[Monkeys Fist 50751]

20 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

 

The soundtrack to this is exceptional. 
 

Breaythe. 

 

The Greayt Beyonce Gig in the Sky

 

Set the Controls for the heart of The Sunlin’

 

Any Colour You like ( but not Black & white) 

 

Is There Anybody Out There (That Doesn’t Hate the Mags? )

 

All written and performed by Fat Dave Gilmore 

[thebrokendoll 14267]

 

fat dave gilmour

[Gemmill 63240]

I used to work with a woman who was a Gilmore. Her, me and another lad were sat around reminiscing about old faces from work who had since left. I got on about one bloke and went on a BRUTAL (and let's face it, HILARIOUS) monologue about what a weird cunt he was. 

 

We go back to our desks and by the time I get to mine there's already an email from the lad saying "you know that's her husband, right?" 

 

The prick had kept her maiden name. I still feel ILL every time I think about it.  A memory that I genuinely have to shout out of my head if it crops up. 

 

She said FUCK ALL the whole time I was ASSASSINATING his character. 

 

[Howmanheyman 43941]

On 11/10/2025 at 13:02, Gemmill said:

I used to work with a woman who was a Gilmore. Her, me and another lad were sat around reminiscing about old faces from work who had since left. I got on about one bloke and went on a BRUTAL (and let's face it, HILARIOUS) monologue about what a weird cunt he was. 

 

We go back to our desks and by the time I get to mine there's already an email from the lad saying "you know that's her husband, right?" 

 

The prick had kept her maiden name. I still feel ILL every time I think about it.  A memory that I genuinely have to shout out of my head if it crops up. 

 

She said FUCK ALL the whole time I was ASSASSINATING his character. 

 

 

 

 

"Eeeeeeee-Orrrrrrrrrr!"

Edited December 1 by Howmanheyman

[Alex 42155]

16 hours ago, Gemmill said:

I used to work with a woman who was a Gilmore. Her, me and another lad were sat around reminiscing about old faces from work who had since left. I got on about one bloke and went on a BRUTAL (and let's face it, HILARIOUS) monologue about what a weird cunt he was. 

 

We go back to our desks and by the time I get to mine there's already an email from the lad saying "you know that's her husband, right?" 

 

The prick had kept her maiden name. I still feel ILL every time I think about it.  A memory that I genuinely have to shout out of my head if it crops up. 

 

She said FUCK ALL the whole time I was ASSASSINATING his character. 

 

Here, man - don’t worry about it. Sounds like she was in full agreement  

Edited October 12 by Alex

[Renton 27787]

4 hours ago, Alex said:

 

Apart from blatantly telling lies, or seemingly being happy your child is being tapped by a paedo, what I find most strange about this need to be loved is the fact they mocked us for being "everyone's second favourite club" if that were ever true.

I think most people are agnostic in their hatred of clubs unless the club is competing. I'd much rather other fans hated us than liked us for football reasons. But as far as enjoying the social aspects of Newcastle, we're always going to be one of the most popular destinations. You see it at every game at SJP. Sorry mackems, we get your away fans too. People just like the city and people of Newcastle, no fiction required, just stats. 👍

[Renton 27787]

1 hour ago, Gemmill said:

I used to work with a woman who was a Gilmore. Her, me and another lad were sat around reminiscing about old faces from work who had since left. I got on about one bloke and went on a BRUTAL (and let's face it, HILARIOUS) monologue about what a weird cunt he was. 

 

We go back to our desks and by the time I get to mine there's already an email from the lad saying "you know that's her husband, right?" 

 

The prick had kept her maiden name. I still feel ILL every time I think about it.  A memory that I genuinely have to shout out of my head if it crops up. 

 

She said FUCK ALL the whole time I was ASSASSINATING his character. 

 

 

 

Completely unrelated but talking of office politics, once I was exchanging personal emails with my mate who worked in the BSA of the NHS. Anyhow, we were chatting about old work colleagues and this lass we both worked with previously happened to work at the BSA. A fairly lewd email conversation happened, we couldn't remember her name, so he looked it up on intranet mailing list.

 

The silly fucker then somehow managed to cc her into the conversation. Fucking hell man, his job was immediately on the line and mine too probably. He rushed off to find her and grovel in person and she was okay thank fuck. I wouldn't have been given the convo. 

 

NEVER USE WORK EMAIL FOR PERSONAL CHATS kids.

[Howmanheyman 43941]

On 11/10/2025 at 14:20, Renton said:

 

 

Completely unrelated but talking of office politics, once I was exchanging personal emails with my mate who worked in the BSA of the NHS. Anyhow, we were chatting about old work colleagues and this lass we both worked with previously happened to work at the BSA. A fairly lewd email conversation happened, we couldn't remember her name, so he looked it up on intranet mailing list.

 

The silly fucker then somehow managed to cc her into the conversation. Fucking hell man, his job was immediately on the line and mine too probably. He rushed off to find her and grovel in person and she was okay thank fuck. I wouldn't have been given the convo. 

 

NEVER USE WORK EMAIL FOR PERSONAL CHATS kids.

 

 

 

"Eeeeeeee-Orrrrrrrrrr!"

Edited December 1 by Howmanheyman

[Renton 27787]

They're not all insane on the SMB, "Jenks" has nailed it.

Does anyone know if you actually send these things into Viz?

 

[Ayatollah Hermione 17238]

On 11/10/2025 at 14:20, Renton said:

 

 

Completely unrelated but talking of office politics, once I was exchanging personal emails with my mate who worked in the BSA of the NHS. Anyhow, we were chatting about old work colleagues and this lass we both worked with previously happened to work at the BSA. A fairly lewd email conversation happened, we couldn't remember her name, so he looked it up on intranet mailing list.

 

The silly fucker then somehow managed to cc her into the conversation. Fucking hell man, his job was immediately on the line and mine too probably. He rushed off to find her and grovel in person and she was okay thank fuck. I wouldn't have been given the convo. 

 

NEVER USE WORK EMAIL FOR PERSONAL CHATS kids.

My mate once got told to leave before he got sacked because they found a spreadsheet he’d saved on the work server that consisted of nothing but the nicknames he had for everyone else in the office  

[Toonpack 15600]

When I worked for an offshore engineering company (deep sea ship shit) the servers on the vessels were forever falling over, nine times out of ten it was always porn, gig upon gig upon gig of porn, no-one ever got sacked "there'd be no-one left" I was told. We'll tell the Captain to sort his men's shit out, they never did.

 

Somewhere out in the ocean there is an iceberg sized homogenised mass of jiz riddled tissues floating about.

[Monkeys Fist 50751]

2 hours ago, Toonpack said:

When I worked for an offshore engineering company (deep sea ship shit) the servers on the vessels were forever falling over, nine times out of ten it was always porn, gig upon gig upon gig of porn, no-one ever got sacked "there'd be no-one left" I was told. We'll tell the Captain to sort his men's shit out, they never did.

 

Somewhere out in the ocean there is an iceberg sized homogenised mass of jiz riddled tissues floating about.

The WiFi on the rigs was so sketchy I ended up taking a pencil and paper and doing dot-to-dot grumble. 

[Renton 27787]

9 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said:

The WiFi on the rigs was so sketchy I ended up taking a pencil and paper and doing dot-to-dot grumble. 

 

You are Randy Marsh and I claim my £5.

 

Edited October 13 by Renton

[Craig 12386]

On 11/10/2025 at 09:39, Alex said:

Surely Stratford is Leyton Orient territory rather than those who are squatting at the Olympic stadium on 'mates rates'?!

That aside, I doubt Hammers fans even recognise it's a Mackem shirt ... "aren't they League One?"

[Dr Gloom 26363]

lots of compliments  

 

i've been to stratford many times - no one ever says anything to anyone they don't know. people don't even make eye contact with strangers man. 

 

but fair play to the mackems - they're clearly on course to win the most-liked club trophy. 

[NJS 5298]

I've been in Ayia Napa since Friday and I've just seen my first MLF strip -  a Peytar Reyd lookalike ambling down the street with an authentic chimp-like gait. 

 

Other side of the road so I was safe thankfully. 

[trophyshy 9004]

You didn't compliment him? 

 

[NJS 5298]

10 minutes ago, trophyshy said:

You didn't compliment him? 

 

I think only neutrals can compliment them - we're just supposed to accept the inevitable windmilling with good grace. 

[Renton 27787]

6 minutes ago, NJS said:

I think only neutrals can compliment them - we're just supposed to accept the inevitable windmilling with good grace. 

 

Giving us a bad name marra.

 

[NJS 5298]

Uncanny.