Ayatollah Hermione 12769 Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 I'm sure we've all ran into footballers, toon or otherwise, who have been either lovely or a right pack of bastards. When I was a bairn, I got my hair ruffled by Shaka Hislop when I was at the training ground. More recently, my pal saw Coloccini with a Primark bag but my favourite story is when Didier Domi had a kickabout with my cousin and his pals and they said he was shite. Got megged twice and fell on his arse trying to cross the ball. Not sure if he was letting them win or what but it hardly inspires confidence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loonyTOON 10 Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 Met Alan Smith at the Dunhill Championships in St Andrews during our Championship season. So asked him if I could get a photo with him, and he nearly broke my hand when he shook it and he had his arm on my shoulder while getting photo taken, almost ripping it out! He is one strong bloke, mind you, he is from Leeds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34680 Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 Got started on by Paul Kitson in Julies. Steve Howey literally saved his life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 9022 Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 I'm sure we've all ran into footballers, toon or otherwise, who have been either lovely or a right pack of bastards. When I was a bairn, I got my hair ruffled by Shaka Hislop when I was at the training ground. More recently, my pal saw Coloccini with a Primark bag but my favourite story is when Didier Domi had a kickabout with my cousin and his pals and they said he was shite. Got megged twice and fell on his arse trying to cross the ball. Not sure if he was letting them win or what but it hardly inspires confidence. What is it with 'keepers and hair ruffling? Was on a flight from Newcastle to London when I was about 13 and Pav and his missus gets on the plane and sits in the 2 in front of me and my Dad. Obviously I'm ridiculously excited, but wait until we're about 20 minutes into the flight then, cajoled by my dad, stand up and ask for his autograph. Trouble is, I've not got a pen and I've got nothing to write on. So Pav gets a pen of his lass and my Dad hands me the only thing to hand; a sick bag. Pav signs the sick bag with a massive grin on his face, thanks me for the support and, as I thank him and reach to shake his hand, he instead holds hands with his missus meaning my intended handshake cannot happen. My hand moves with a mind of it's own from hand shake, to hair ruffle. I sit back down, mortified; why the FUCK had I just ruffled Pavel Srnicek's hair?!. I'm so embarrassed I refuse to get off the flight until Srnicek leaves. One of the best and worst moments of my life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew 4231 Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 (edited) dont think its all together fair to lump keepers and hair ruffling into one based on that mind, he clearly had no choice in the matter Edited April 26, 2012 by Semimental Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 12769 Posted April 26, 2012 Author Share Posted April 26, 2012 Got started on by Paul Kitson in Julies. Steve Howey literally saved his life. Kitson not give out a quick "za za" when he was being dragged off? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34680 Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 Kitson not give out a quick "za za" when he was being dragged off? The whole experience is still a blur (I was mortal, he was mortaler). I was just making my mind up between throwing some 'bows or a spinning backfist when the giant mackem intervened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34680 Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 Dave, you cripple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 12769 Posted April 26, 2012 Author Share Posted April 26, 2012 No wonder Pav only came back after Fish had moved to London. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CleeToonFan 1 Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 Touched Ben Arfa's hand at Fulham away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 9022 Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 Dave, you cripple. Genuinely spasticated through embarrassment for hours after. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 Top 3: Grabbing Gazza's paunch and going 'whey' whilst passing him at the bar in Masters. Shearer laughing at me acting the clown on the quayside. Bumping into Ben Arfa in the VIP of a nightclub in Lyon. I met Shola once too, he was fuckng mint. This very religious Nigerian girl used to fancy us and she claimed her brother knew Shola so I used that as the opening line. Had a good crack on, always liked him since then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 70 Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 Met Cantona at a fund raising event a few years back in London. I was very drunk and tried to recite one of my poems to him. Bit later he came over to where I was sitting with some corporate bufoons and asked me to write one down...Which amazingly I did while being totally ratarsed. Dreamy eyes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 13883 Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 Chasing Lee Clark around the running track at Durham when I was a kid, I couldn't understand how he could possibly be so fast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ADP 0 Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 (edited) What is it with 'keepers and hair ruffling? Was on a flight from Newcastle to London when I was about 13 and Pav and his missus gets on the plane and sits in the 2 in front of me and my Dad. Obviously I'm ridiculously excited, but wait until we're about 20 minutes into the flight then, cajoled by my dad, stand up and ask for his autograph. Trouble is, I've not got a pen and I've got nothing to write on. So Pav gets a pen of his lass and my Dad hands me the only thing to hand; a sick bag. Pav signs the sick bag with a massive grin on his face, thanks me for the support and, as I thank him and reach to shake his hand, he instead holds hands with his missus meaning my intended handshake cannot happen. My hand moves with a mind of it's own from hand shake, to hair ruffle. I sit back down, mortified; why the FUCK had I just ruffled Pavel Srnicek's hair?!. I'm so embarrassed I refuse to get off the flight until Srnicek leaves. One of the best and worst moments of my life god that sounds awesomely horrific. Met Gazza in the cooperage one night when I was about 16 just before I played a gig there. He bought me a pint and I asked him if he wanted to see my band. He replied, 'naaah mate *looked for an excuse... then repeated* naah.' walked off. The best pint id ever had up to that point. Edited April 26, 2012 by ADP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TicTacWoe 0 Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 Bumped into Keith O'Neill when he was in his prime at Norwich before he got crocked, asked for an autograph, neither of us has a pen, so he laughed and walked off. BEAT THAT STORY! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobH 0 Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 I was at the training ground with my Dad when I was a toddler and we were kicking a ball around. As the players were coming out to train I kicked the ball onto the pitch and ran out onto the pitch in front of them all. Les Ferdinand went and got my ball for me and I shouted 'Look Dad it's Ferdy' which apparently he found hilarious. Also Jamie Mcclen presented awards at my football club and struck me as being a bellend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 14083 Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 Gazza bought me a pint at the Rupali when I was 9. Our lives have progressed similarly ever since. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StevenL 0 Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 Jamie Mcclen was shagging a lass that lived in my street. Nearly ran me over in his flashy BMW when I was on my bike. To be fair it was my fault. Met Andy Carroll in Whitley. He was trying to shag my best mates fiancé. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McFaul 35 Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 Met Cantona at a fund raising event a few years back in London. I was very drunk and tried to recite one of my poems to him. Bit later he came over to where I was sitting with some corporate bufoons and asked me to write one down...Which amazingly I did while being totally ratarsed. Dreamy eyes. The winner. Met loads of footballers, they're not all cunts. Spoke to Jonathan Greening for an hour on a train, more down to earth than almost anyone you could meet. Never in a million years would you think he was a footballer, very complimentary about the toon, and I took the piss out of his penalty miss against us in 2001. THE worst pen I've ever seen. Good bloke. Kevin Davies bought me and me mates a drink on the Quayside, him and his mate were over the moon we recognised him, he'd just signed for Blackburn. He was canny but quite shy, I told him I was as good as him, red bull and vodka for you, what a doilum. Met Beardsley a number times from the age of 8 onwards, love the bloke. First one was in Exhibition Park about 86, he was signing his book proud to be a geordie for me and me fatha, I says ye not gan nee where Peter are ye "no son", he did the next season though. John Beresford nearly knocked me down in Durham and gave me the dirtiest look anyones ever given me. Yorkshire cunt. Nut megged Mirandinha and Billy Askew, there'll be others but none that spring to mind. Ruel Fox was the biggest arsehole footballer I ever met though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nyff 0 Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 Spoke to Steve Harper when Newcastle Reserves played Blackburn Reserves at Christie Park in Morecambe. Was jokingly chanting 'Harper for England' behind the goal, and he turns around and goes "England? No chance mate, can't even get in the bloody first team here".. Met a few of the players that day. Remember Bellamy carrying an absolutely massive man bag, and being dwarfed by Carl Cort (like most people, I imagine). Once met the whole Man U team in Manchester airport. Gotta be said that Beckham was lovely. All his advisors were trying to move him on and get him checked in but he waited and waited with his arms round me and my sister waiting for my dads camera to work...but it never did, and never got that picture! Biggest c*nt was Phil Neville, who stormed through the crowds ignoring everyone as if he were some sort of superstar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34680 Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 Beckham is the only "superstar" footballer I have any time for. Seems like a genuinely decent bloke and was the last England player that you could believe was genuinely proud just to play for and captain his country. These days it seems to be a status symbol and a tool to boost your salary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 5941 Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 I had a nice experience with Marco Van Basten Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McFaul 35 Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 Spoke to Steve Harper when Newcastle Reserves played Blackburn Reserves at Christie Park in Morecambe. Was jokingly chanting 'Harper for England' behind the goal, and he turns around and goes "England? No chance mate, can't even get in the bloody first team here".. Met a few of the players that day. Remember Bellamy carrying an absolutely massive man bag, and being dwarfed by Carl Cort (like most people, I imagine). Once met the whole Man U team in Manchester airport. Gotta be said that Beckham was lovely. All his advisors were trying to move him on and get him checked in but he waited and waited with his arms round me and my sister waiting for my dads camera to work...but it never did, and never got that picture! Biggest c*nt was Phil Neville, who stormed through the crowds ignoring everyone as if he were some sort of superstar. You'd be a cunt if you were outstanding ugly like him though. Imagine waking up knowing more than 70% of the people who clap eyes on you in a day are going to think you're noticably fuckin mingin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chronic the Drug Wasp 6 Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 Sold Giles Barnes and Leroy Lita a condom each at a fiver a pop in the early hours at a Nottingham hotel bar. They'd pulled a couple of slappers and the blob machine was fucked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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