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Mike Ashley -- Football Cunt

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1 hour ago, The Fish said:

Can't remember the last time I actually met @Meenzer e.g.

 

You don't exactly live just round the corner any more mind. :lol: I'll try and get up for another Peak District stomparound before too long so I can finally meet the little man (and your baby).

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21 hours ago, Meenzer said:

 

You don't exactly live just round the corner any more mind. :lol: I'll try and get up for another Peak District stomparound before too long so I can finally meet the little man (and your baby).

I'm looking forward to the stage where we can leave him on a roadside to fend for himself while I come back down to the smoke and Bengal Village my heart out.

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From .com

 

Quote


Given that the Mail's Martin Samuel was granted an exclusive interview with Mike Ashley back in July, a new piece by him ridiculing Peter Kenyon's attempts to buy Newcastle United is probably well-sourced:

There is one problem with Peter Kenyon's £300million bid for Newcastle. It's the £300m part. He hasn't got it. Not in any finite sense. If he had, Newcastle would be his now, just as it could be yours, or mine, or anybody's. In the blink of an eye, too.

 

Newcastle is for sale and has been for years. Knock down Mike Ashley's door with the asking price and you can have the keys this afternoon.

But Kenyon, like Amanda Staveley, like Sheik Khaled bin Zayed Al Nehayan, like any number of unsuitable suitors or small-time big talkers, doesn't have £300m. So with Ashley it remains.

When he speaks of owning Newcastle for ever, it is no secret desire. Simply, Ashley has seen too many of these negotiations disappear in smoke when it came time to put up or shut up, so now he is sceptical of ever reaching journey's end.

 

Kenyon convinced him the deal was going to be done last Christmas. Ashley liked Kenyon. Liked him enough to call him the preferred bidder.

He thinks he knows football and would be good for the club. Yet after the initial promise, the next report Ashley read suggested Kenyon was trying to Crowdfund his takeover.

Now he has commissioned a glossy brochure showcasing Newcastle as a fabulous investment opportunity. It amounts to the same thing. Like Crowdfunding, the brochure is an appeal for investor funds to cover a sizeable shortfall.

That should concern Newcastle's supporters as much as it does the owner. Investors aren't living a dream. Investors want a return. And a man in Kenyon's need can't be picky about who he persuades to put the money in.

Liverpool's owners are investors, too, but they are investors with a background in sport and a vision of how to succeed in that market. Sheik Mansour was smart enough to employ football executives who came up with the idea of the City Football Group.

 

Yet Kenyon's circumstances seem increasingly desperate. If he can secure funding, who exactly are Newcastle going to get? Already, the numbers do not seem so very different to what is on offer now.

Kenyon's transfer spend forecast is for £35m in 2020-21 and £40m in each of the following three seasons. That's £38.75m annually. The reviled Ashley spent more than that this summer just on Joelinton.

Equally, Kenyon's depiction of a club that is underdeveloped, undervalued and ripe for commercial exploitation does not tally with the absence of serious bidders across close to a decade.

If Newcastle is such a licence to print money why aren't prospective owners besieging Ashley with deals? It cannot merely be that the club is overpriced, because Kenyon makes it sound as if Newcastle is the investment coup of a lifetime.

Which it might be, if some of Kenyon's other statements weren't fantasy. Squad valuations that include significant sums for Salomon Rondon, Kenedy and Antonio Barreca, for instance, three players that were only ever on loan last season.

The description of Steve Bruce as a manager who has enjoyed 'unparalleled success in Europe' — a statement no doubt intended to sell the employment of Rafa Benitez, who left in the summer.

The brochure that has found its way into the public domain looks very much like a rehash of one that might have been in circulation last year, when Kenyon first attempted to raise the funds for Newcastle.

It didn't get takers then, so why would it now, with Newcastle again drawn into a fight against relegation?

'The reality with these deals is once it gets out if it's not done, it's probably not going to get done,' was Ashley's view in August.

'The day someone buys Newcastle, they'll do their due diligence — and finished. It will happen like Manchester City. By the time the media find out, it's already complete. There's no need for a delay with Newcastle. It is, honestly, a very well-run football club.'

 

Certainly, it is a tight ship financially. Ashley has kept it so expressly for sale purposes. Yet there has never been an offer for Newcastle that looked remotely viable.

Why would a relative of Sheik Mansour, measuring his wealth in billions, not move fast on a deal? Why would a group with more than £100m available to spend on players wish to haggle over an asking price through newspaper articles?

'You would want speed, you would want certainty, you would want the keys and to get on with it,' said Ashley.

He is right. Roman Abramovich did not bicker in public with Ken Bates over Chelsea. The first even senior employees at Manchester City knew of the Mansour take-over was when it was announced that morning.

The Red Knights at Manchester United, the various foreign entities that have circled Arsenal or Tottenham, there has never been a major takeover of a Premier League football club that has taken place across weeks on back pages.

If that is happening it is because the buyer needs time, and money, or hopes to knock the price down by claiming public support.

Looking at the Kenyon take-over, that is the best he can offer. He doesn't have the purchase price, he doesn't have the transfer funds. But he's not Mike Ashley. The problem is, not being Mike Ashley isn't worth £300m, or anything like it. Certainly not to Mike Ashley.

 

Edited by wykikitoon

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I find it difficult to believe no one has shown genuine interest in buying us when you look at all the other clubs that have changed hands. Reads like a piece of pro-Ashley propaganda. Which isn’t to say I think Kenyon is genuine 

 

 

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7 minutes ago, Alex said:

I find it difficult to believe no one has shown genuine interest in buying us when you look at all the other clubs that have changed hands. Reads like a piece of pro-Ashley propaganda. Which isn’t to say I think Kenyon is genuine 

 

 

It's the old "Let's show the nice man who might buy the club a nice full ground" routine. He's tried it a couple of times before (Stavely & the BZG group).  People are boycotting SJP & its becoming noticeable on the TV now. This is his way of trying to entice people back into the ground.

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As I see it the problem is probably less the asking price but the details of the sale. Every buyer does know what amount of money Ashley does want. I can’t see serious multimillionaires appointing legal consultants walking into discussions with empty pockets knowing they won’t be able to do a deal still having to find the money.

With BZG the asking price was agreed as the club confirmed itself. Staveley according to Bird or Caulkin (can’t remember who) had actually tabled offers. 
Deals fell through because of other reasons. With Staveley it was that Ashley suddenly changed his tune accusing the buyer of lack of action saying or pretending a lack of an offer.

Imho most telling was Ashley’s narrative in his summer interview with the billionaire Sheikh haggling over a fee of 10m and therefore contradicting the press statement confirming the agreement of a price.

Adding to this that we know from the sale of Rangers how reluctant Ashley is with losing commercial rights and income I have no reason to doubt that the lack of sale is solely down to the cunt of a greedy owner.

Ashley will only sell if he is forced to or the offer is insanely obscene.

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Yeah. He will want to retain commercial rights, sponsorship for SD and probably the lease on the ground or training ground. 

 

And because of that we won't be sold anytime soon 

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On 10/3/2019 at 02:28, Alex said:

I find it difficult to believe no one has shown genuine interest in buying us when you look at all the other clubs that have changed hands. Reads like a piece of pro-Ashley propaganda. Which isn’t to say I think Kenyon is genuine 

 

 

A mate of mine was in London a couple of weeks back at a Freshfields function and spoke to a bloke who works at one of the biggest private equity firms in the City. They got to talking about football and my mate mentioned he’s a toon fan. The guy said that his firm had prepared a bid and approached Ashley about buying the club, but he was so difficult to deal with that they quickly dropped their interest. Could be bullshit but the PE guy had no reason to lie.

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1 minute ago, Kitman said:

A mate of mine was in London a couple of weeks back at a Freshfields function and spoke to a bloke who works at one of the biggest private equity firms in the City. They got to talking about football and my mate mentioned he’s a toon fan. The guy said that his firm had prepared a bid and approached Ashley about buying the club, but he was so difficult to deal with that they quickly dropped their interest. Could be bullshit but the PE guy had no reason to lie.

 

The club would have been sold a while ago if he was genuinely interested in selling. He's here for a lot longer yet unfortunately. He's that rich it's like he's just taking the piss as a joke amongst him and his cronies. That is the only explanation.

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On 10/2/2019 at 09:28, Alex said:

I find it difficult to believe no one has shown genuine interest in buying us when you look at all the other clubs that have changed hands. Reads like a piece of pro-Ashley propaganda. Which isn’t to say I think Kenyon is genuine 

 

 

 

This.  Newcastle United in the Premiership.  Are you kidding me?  And I'm here watching billionaires buying WNBA and NHL teams in Fucksknowswhere, USA.  Are you kidding me?!

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49 minutes ago, Anorthernsoul said:

 

The club would have been sold a while ago if he was genuinely interested in selling. He's here for a lot longer yet unfortunately. He's that rich it's like he's just taking the piss as a joke amongst him and his cronies. That is the only explanation.

 

Yes, unfortunately it rings true for me. He’s got no interest in selling. I think we’ll only be free of him if his health catches up with him or his helicopter fails.

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29 minutes ago, PaddockLad said:

Old Jezza appears to have properly rattled Ashley. Chap. 

 

 

https://www.nufc.co.uk/news/latest-news/club-statement-jeremy-corbyn/

Wow! I'm absolutely touched that the 'club' want to put things straight for the fans. I didn't know they cared? :wub:

 

I take it all back, he's not a cunt after all. (But he does think we're daft cunts).

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10 minutes ago, TheGingerQuiff said:

It's almost like when he was saying he shouldn't be a football club owner and was a negative to the football club in the summer that it was part of a disingenuous pr campaign 

You think he thinks he's done well being a football club owner and thinks he's a positive to the club? If that was the case would he not be attending the games?

 

I think the club's statement was a valid response and I'll be interested to find out if Labour respond to the club's invitation.

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