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Eddie’s Broon Ale necking Black Garter Slags vs PaddockLad’s mates’ southern softy shandy-drinking la las.

Monkeys Fist

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5-0, obviously. 

We need to step up to the mark here lads, and give a full account of our annihilation of these as PL and his mini bus full of Southern Ponces will obviously not be making the game due to overindulgence and/or arrest the night before. 



Any suggestions for titty-bars or warehouses* still welcome in PL’s

“ Where the fuck can I take this lot without getting them chinned?” thread. 


* dyslexic pimp. 


@sammynb- this is your early dementia tag to find the match thread- you’re welcome. 


Edited title because “at home”. 

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  • Monkeys Fist changed the title to Eddie’s Broon Ale necking Black Garter Slags vs PaddockLad’s mates’ southern softy shandy-drinking la las.

35-0 Dan Burn to play all defensive positions simultaneously and make everyone look stupid. Andy Cole to score the goals Hot Dog Meat GIF by Applegate

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1 minute ago, PaddockLad said:

Big Paddy to turn up on Saturday to see his boy rip it up at SJP? 😀




Only if there's a bit of toot on the go

tyler the creator drugs GIF

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On 11/02/2024 at 08:22, wykikitoon said:

Burn starts were fucked. 


Nikki Papavasiliou hat trick, 1-0 win. 


He's definitely starting like, Eddie stands by BDB.


I reckon we'll score a couple on Saturday, I'm not so confident we'll keep a rare clean sheet. We're due one though!

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13 hours ago, trophyshy said:

I’ll be at this.  Would anyone like a fight?  


If we get beat, I'm tasking you with finding and kicking fuck out of PL's mates. 


If PL gets caught up in the crossfire? So be it. 

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1 minute ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Is your van called Callum? 

If it is then I can only presume that Jason Statham is massaging it's tits in the background there.

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On Callum Wilson, who suffered a pectoral injury in the latter stages of last weekend's 3-2 win against Nottingham Forest:


"It was a really strange injury, getting in a tussle with the centre-back right at the end of the game. Initially, from my view, I thought he'd hurt his shoulder but it was a muscle in his pec so we had it scanned.


"We hoped he could carry on and he felt good. He was moving his arm at full strength but when he went to see a specialist, it was apparent quite early on that he needed it operated on and he's having that as we speak.


“It's no doubt a big blow to him because I think he's looking at various things. His first priority has always been Newcastle and he feels it has been a stop start season for him. He takes that burden of being one of our two strikers very seriously and he's desperate to do well and score goals.


"He was very disappointed in that perspective and he had England on the horizon as well so we hope he'll be back before the end of the season."


On further injury updates, including Alexander Isak and Joe Willock:


"Alex is probably not ready for the weekend, but he is very close and looking really good. I am really pleased with his progress.


"Like Alex, Joe is very close too, he is knocking on the door and looking good and feeling much better. He is another huge player for us that we are desperate to get back.


"Matt Targett's in a very similar position to Elliot Anderson, working very closely together and they're due to be training very soon, hopefully within the next ten days."


On Emil Krafth, who signed a one-year contract extension on Wednesday, keeping the Swedish defender at St. James' Park until the summer of 2025:


"He's very dependable and a really good trainer and player. (He's) very reliable and I can't speak highly enough of him in the sense of how he handled his injury.


"He was in good form and had a powerful end to the (2021/22) season when we were trying to avoid relegation and performed really well towards the end of that campaign.


He then got the (anterior cruciate ligament) injury and worked his way back throughout pre-season and has looked as good as new.


"That's not easy to do after the injury he had so he fully deserves his contract and he's got a big part to play in our future."


On Bruno Guimarães, who netted a brace in the Magpies' 3-2 win against Forest at the City Ground:


"I think he is (world class) and I don't say that lightly because it's easy to say. You have to believe what you're saying and I do. 


"He's got unbelievable qualities that we see on a daily basis. He's versatile and, fundamentally, got a unbelievable attitude to life and to the game of football.


"His passion for the game is clear to see when he's playing, especially at his best, and he can produce moments of absolute magic which he did against Nottingham Forest to help us win the game.


"There's such a healthy relationship between the supporters and Bruno. He wears his heart on his sleeve and you're not guessing how Bruno's feeling when you're watching him play and supporters can really identify with his passion for football and Newcastle so I think it's a really good mix."


On the upcoming test of AFC Bournemouth, who claimed a 2-0 win against the Magpies during the reverse fixture in November:


"His (Andoni Iraola) methods are really strong, really visible with how they play, and I think we felt that in the away game against us.


"Since that win, I think they've had some really good results, culminating in beating Manchester United 3-0 at Old Trafford which was a really strong performance. 


"They have some direct threats. We're going to have to be aware of them and have to play a lot better than we did against them in the last game but I anticipate that we will and we can." 


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8 minutes ago, ewerk said:


Knowing Howe, this means all four are likely on the bench at least - with Isak starting and getting re-injured :lol:

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