Howmanheyman 27026 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 "I'm afraid you've just fallen short of your annual targets, err, HMHM.... and as such, I'm terribly sorry to have to say there'll be no birthday or Christmas card from Mrs Dickson or myself this year." 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 26513 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 Renton heading to work this morning. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 27026 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 1 minute ago, ewerk said: Renton heading to work this morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 19845 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 25 minutes ago, Renton said: Maybe in the days of polys. With grade inflation a Desmond is now a turd. i've kept mine well-polished for years 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 16757 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 36 minutes ago, ewerk said: Funny how the cunts suddenly manage to cycle in single file once they realise it's the police behind them, eh? They can ride three abreast of they want. There's no law against it. Funny how motorists all call cyclists entitled cunts yet moan when they're slowed down for 5 seconds when they're off to the Garden centre to potter about because they've fuck all else to do in their sad potatoe shagging lives. Last night I was going home on the bus. I was sat on the top deck looking out. At the traffic lights about 5 cars all with drivers looking at their phones. Then an ambulance came blue lighting up the road. Non moved as they were too busy watching Cat's falling off sofa's the sad peado cunts. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 5572 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 33 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said: Errrr, I think I'll just pass despite it having a competitive minimum wage, on-site parking and only statutory holiday entitlement, (probably statutory sickness too) but it was a tough decision knowing I'll be giving up a chance to get a birthday and Christmas card from the Dickson family. Didn't even notice the amazing X1 death in service or the 3% pension. They've got a fucking cheek charging the prices they do is all I'm saying. You should at least find out which person you'd be working in if you got the job, it might be worth the minimum wage if you get to hang out the back of Sofia Vergara all day. However, if it's the Hound from Game of Thrones then it's an easy pass (or it might not be, I don't know what you're into). 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 3997 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 Life Hack Today I changed the Siri voice to Indian. Totally brightened up my morning text messages 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 26513 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 30 minutes ago, wykikitoon said: They can ride three abreast of they want. There's no law against it. Funny how motorists all call cyclists entitled cunts yet moan when they're slowed down for 5 seconds when they're off to the Garden centre to potter about because they've fuck all else to do in their sad potatoe shagging lives. Last night I was going home on the bus. I was sat on the top deck looking out. At the traffic lights about 5 cars all with drivers looking at their phones. Then an ambulance came blue lighting up the road. Non moved as they were too busy watching Cat's falling off sofa's the sad peado cunts. I actually agree that it's safer for cyclists to ride at least two abreast. Oh, I nearly forgot: 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 9023 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 12 hours ago, Kid Dynamite said: His parents must be gutted that they put him through boarding school and he ended up with a 2:2 at a poly A Poly?! I'll fight you right now. I went to a god damn Redbrick University. Not some jumped up community college. To be fair, he only got a 2:2 because his mam died around the time of his exams and they gave him a grade off the back of his work up to then. There was no way he would have passed otherwise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 14645 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 43 minutes ago, wykikitoon said: They can ride three abreast of they want. There's no law against it. Funny how motorists all call cyclists entitled cunts yet moan when they're slowed down for 5 seconds when they're off to the Garden centre to potter about because they've fuck all else to do in their sad potatoe shagging lives. Last night I was going home on the bus. I was sat on the top deck looking out. At the traffic lights about 5 cars all with drivers looking at their phones. Then an ambulance came blue lighting up the road. Non moved as they were too busy watching Cat's falling off sofa's the sad peado cunts. This is in the top 5 of “most Wykiki” Wykikitoon posts of all time 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 9257 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 8 minutes ago, PaddockLad said: This is in the top 5 of “most Wykiki” Wykikitoon posts of all time Just needed this 🙂 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holden McGroin 4906 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 1 hour ago, wykikitoon said: They can ride three abreast of they want. There's no law against it. Funny how motorists all call cyclists entitled cunts yet moan when they're slowed down for 5 seconds when they're off to the Garden centre to potter about because they've fuck all else to do in their sad potatoe shagging lives. Last night I was going home on the bus. I was sat on the top deck looking out. At the traffic lights about 5 cars all with drivers looking at their phones. Then an ambulance came blue lighting up the road. Non moved as they were too busy watching Cat's falling off sofa's the sad peado cunts. Bus wanker. I wouldn’t be seen dead on one. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17841 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 Just to rile up wykiki some more. I've never knowingly driven through a red and honestly, never seen anybody else do this either. And blue lights and everybody immediately makes way. Maybe we're just better more considerate drivers up here. Cyclists though, you rarely see them stop at reds. A lot of money is being wasted spent on the coast here making a dedicated segregated cycle lane from Tynemouth to Whitley Bay. I am fairly certain cyclists will still use the parallel road though, selfish road tax avoiding cunts. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 16757 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 I was nearly hit by a bloke driving through a red this week! The thing is with cycle paths, they're poorly designed and they're not designed for experienced cyclists. They're designed for t'old George to ride on to go give Doris one. There's one in Harrogate. It's up on the pavement, then down onto the road, then back up on the pavement. It's full of glass and shite. It slows you down as an experienced cyclist to use it. But the bat shit crazy thing is, its on the downhill side of the road. Whereas the uphill side there's nothing. So I can easily keep up with the speed of the road going down, but going up that's where slower riders frustrate Brexit Barry from overtaking him to quickly jump in a massive queue of traffic for half an hour. One of the big issues is, nothing is in legislation here. I.e its a massive noose around the council or governments neck. Whereas places like Netherlands and Denmark its part of law. Oh and road tax was abolished in 1938 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17841 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 2 minutes ago, wykikitoon said: I was nearly hit by a bloke driving through a red this week! The thing is with cycle paths, they're poorly designed and they're not designed for experienced cyclists. They're designed for t'old George to ride on to go give Doris one. There's one in Harrogate. It's up on the pavement, then down onto the road, then back up on the pavement. It's full of glass and shite. It slows you down as an experienced cyclist to use it. But the bat shit crazy thing is, its on the downhill side of the road. Whereas the uphill side there's nothing. So I can easily keep up with the speed of the road going down, but going up that's where slower riders frustrate Brexit Barry from overtaking him to quickly jump in a massive queue of traffic for half an hour. One of the big issues is, nothing is in legislation here. I.e its a massive noose around the council or governments neck. Whereas places like Netherlands and Denmark its part of law. Oh and road tax was abolished in 1938 This one is fully grade seperated with no dangerous junctions in its 3 mile stretch, and bidirectional. I'm actually hoping it is a success. I agree there are other cycle paths around here that are poorly thought out and are not fit for purpose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 16757 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 3 minutes ago, Renton said: This one is fully grade seperated with no dangerous junctions in its 3 mile stretch, and bidirectional. I'm actually hoping it is a success. I agree there are other cycle paths around here that are poorly thought out and are not fit for purpose. There's a bidirectional one near me. I don't use it. Purley because when drivers are coming out of certain junctions they look left and that's it and pull out. When they should be checking both ways. I was nearly taken out the first time I used it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17841 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 3 minutes ago, wykikitoon said: There's a bidirectional one near me. I don't use it. Purley because when drivers are coming out of certain junctions they look left and that's it and pull out. When they should be checking both ways. I was nearly taken out the first time I used it. Would you use this? Because the cycle path is on the coast side, there are no junctions. If not, then what's the solution? Cycles aren't the answer for older people, people who need to travel a considerable distance, people with family/dogs etc. Just seems that cyclists compain a lot, talk about Holland etc, but then don't use any segregated facilities provided. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holden McGroin 4906 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 The amount of times I have to make way on a footpath for cyclists. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 16757 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 4 minutes ago, Renton said: Would you use this? Because the cycle path is on the coast side, there are no junctions. If not, then what's the solution? Cycles aren't the answer for older people, people who need to travel a considerable distance, people with family/dogs etc. Just seems that cyclists compain a lot, talk about Holland etc, but then don't use any segregated facilities provided. Cyclists complain a lot Fuck me. Are you taking the piss? Try and go out on the bike and have some cunt in a tonne and half ride within cm's of you because you dare go get some shopping and slow them down for 20s and come back to me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 16757 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 But yeh. I would use something like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 16757 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 Also ignore Jeremey Vine. The bloke is a shocking advert for cyclists. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 30492 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 24 minutes ago, wykikitoon said: Also ignore Jeremey Vine. The bloke is a shocking advert for cyclists. Well he’s a shocking advert for journalists so it’s not surprising 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 16757 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 There was another nob jockey on Twatter once. He was cycling along and on the stretch of road there was double solids centrally. A car overtook him on the wrong side of the road. He complained about it. The road was clear, it wasn't a dangerous overtake at all. It was a bit unclear why double solids were there. Yes, he was doing about 20mph (The cyclist) so the overtake was illegal. BUT Fuck me. The driver was doing their best to give you room. They were safe and could see far ahead, why not just let it be FFS. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 27026 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 19845 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 46 minutes ago, wykikitoon said: Cyclists complain a lot Fuck me. Are you taking the piss? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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