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Hi lads just a quick update about Master T we were allowed to visit him in the mental hospital at Ryhope yesterday it's the first time we've seen him in 6 days. He was allowed to go to the local Asda

Yo kiddiewinks. It’s just gone 3am but it feels like 2am. If you have any old-fashioned clocks in your households from the early days of the forum then please adjust them accordingly. And can you clea

It occurred to me this evening that my traditional posts reminding you boys to adjust your clocks accordingly twice a year (not a euphemism) is becoming redundant in this digital age. However, here I

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Yo kiddiewinks. It’s just gone 3am but it feels like 2am. If you have any old-fashioned clocks in your households from the early days of the forum then please adjust them accordingly. And can you clear up those bottles and pizza boxes before I get home from work this morning. Cheers.

 

love, Mam x

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16 hours ago, catmag said:

Yo kiddiewinks. It’s just gone 3am but it feels like 2am. If you have any old-fashioned clocks in your households from the early days of the forum then please adjust them accordingly. And can you clear up those bottles and pizza boxes before I get home from work this morning. Cheers.

 

love, Mam x

 

45C4D300-4016-4D9F-88B6-A8598A524EC8.jpeg

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On 24/03/2021 at 10:35, Kitman said:

Coco’s pops picking up coco’s poops

So… having thought I’d dodged a bullet when Coco turned out to be stolen, according to her chip, we’ve now been “offered” her brother. 
By “offered”, I mean we’re picking the hairy little cunt up tomorrow for a “two week trial” i.e. until the little twat pops his stinking clogs. 
Obviously, it’s another fucking spaniel, the one , sole, breed I specifically said I wanted nowt to do with once I realised we were getting a mutt whether I liked it or not. 
 

This particular little shithouse is called Pip, so I’ll be Pip’s Pops picking up Pip’s Poops. 
 

Fuck right off :lol:

 

I’ve decided that my only option now is to go full-on enthusiast and demand a second dog, but make sure it’s a Staffy, just so I can annoy Mrs. F. as much as this has annoyed me - the breed she specifically vetoed was Staffy’s, even though they’re superb family pets, short-haired, don’t shed, aren’t mental ( look up Rage Syndrome and Cockers!). 
Hopefully it’ll also terrorise this little Mackem shithouse :lol:

 

 

FML MKII 

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Just to add, the reason she gave for vetoing Staffys is that “they look too much like you”- meaning squat, stocky and punched-in, with minimal hair. 
 

And yet, here we are, getting a fucking mentally unstable, ginger fucking lunatic that likes chewing socks.…

 

… I daren’t tell her what Spaniel’s Lugs is a euphemism for. 

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53 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

And yet, here we are, getting a fucking mentally unstable, ginger fucking lunatic that likes chewing socks.…

 

 

So she doesn't want another version of you in the house but she's happy to have Gemmill!

 

Staffys are lovely dogs problem is most staffy owners are aggressive, obnoxious cunts - well here anyway.

 

A cairn, westie or if you want fuck off attitude a scottie will fit the bill plus the family will all be raging with jealousy once they see how much better the terrier is to the ginger loony.

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46 minutes ago, sammynb said:

Staffys are lovely dogs problem is most staffy owners are aggressive, obnoxious cunts

Same over here mate, it’s a shame because Staffys really are such lovely little bastards- I’ll fight any cunt that says otherwise. 
 

:rimshot:

 

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4 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said:

So… having thought I’d dodged a bullet when Coco turned out to be stolen, according to her chip, we’ve now been “offered” her brother. 
By “offered”, I mean we’re picking the hairy little cunt up tomorrow for a “two week trial” i.e. until the little twat pops his stinking clogs. 
Obviously, it’s another fucking spaniel, the one , sole, breed I specifically said I wanted nowt to do with once I realised we were getting a mutt whether I liked it or not. 
 

This particular little shithouse is called Pip, so I’ll be Pip’s Pops picking up Pip’s Poops. 
 

Fuck right off :lol:

 

I’ve decided that my only option now is to go full-on enthusiast and demand a second dog, but make sure it’s a Staffy, just so I can annoy Mrs. F. as much as this has annoyed me - the breed she specifically vetoed was Staffy’s, even though they’re superb family pets, short-haired, don’t shed, aren’t mental ( look up Rage Syndrome and Cockers!). 
Hopefully it’ll also terrorise this little Mackem shithouse :lol:

 

 

FML MKII 

 

That's interesting. My daughter was petting an ex-neighbours dog, pretty sure it was a spaniel of some kind, solid black. It suddenly bit her on the face unprovoked. Claret everywhere, day spent in casualty, no permanent physical damage but the psychological effects have been terrible. This was 2 years ago, and she now has an increasingly worse phobia of dogs. Some seem to sense it and go for her, making the problem worse still. She now won't go anywhere where dogs are off the lead. Can't go for walks in parks or on the beach, bridle ways etc. As if lockdown wasn't bad enough we've suffered as a family because of this now as well. 

 

I understand why people love dogs but I'm no fan. Just wish there were more restrictions where they can be let off the lead. Needless to say, owners of aggressive dogs tend to be selfish twats too. They'd rather blame a scared little lass than control their dog. 

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Can you not take her somewhere to meet some chilled out canines. That is gonna be some fear to be carry through life seeing as dogs are everywhere these days. 

 

There's a cafe in town with little lap dogs where you pay a fiver to get in or something and you get a dog that comes and sits with you. They've got the same place with cats as well. 

 

Although they're both probably busto by now after all these lockdowns. 

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When my daughter was a wee toddler, still in nappies, a mate’s mutt went for her (thankfully didn’t harm her), and thereafter she would go rigid if she saw a dog within 50ft of her. 
She’d cross the street rather than walk past one in a garden, genuinely terrified. 
Mrs. F’s sister got a little shit-machine when Annie was aged about 7, and she was, as ever, petrified of it, but through slowly spending time with it she’s now happy to take him for walks. 
Still very wary of other mutts, but not paralysed by fear. 
I’ve told her that if, at any point, she feels unhappy about the incoming shithouse, to let me know and that’ll be that, but she’s pretty relaxed about the whole thing. 
 

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3 hours ago, Gemmill said:

Can you not take her somewhere to meet some chilled out canines. That is gonna be some fear to be carry through life seeing as dogs are everywhere these days. 

 

There's a cafe in town with little lap dogs where you pay a fiver to get in or something and you get a dog that comes and sits with you. They've got the same place with cats as well. 

 

Although they're both probably busto by now after all these lockdowns. 

 

Cheers, yeah, I agree it's something we need to proactively work on. I do have a few friends with dogs who have offered to help but they are big dogs which she is most terrified of. Ironic because I know big dogs are generally very passive (golden retrievers etc). The cafe is a good idea if they reopen although as I'm allergic Mrs R can do that!

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4 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

When my daughter was a wee toddler, still in nappies, a mate’s mutt went for her (thankfully didn’t harm her), and thereafter she would go rigid if she saw a dog within 50ft of her. 
She’d cross the street rather than walk past one in a garden, genuinely terrified. 
Mrs. F’s sister got a little shit-machine when Annie was aged about 7, and she was, as ever, petrified of it, but through slowly spending time with it she’s now happy to take him for walks. 
Still very wary of other mutts, but not paralysed by fear. 
I’ve told her that if, at any point, she feels unhappy about the incoming shithouse, to let me know and that’ll be that, but she’s pretty relaxed about the whole thing. 
 

 

Cheers, quite a common problem I think. I was attacked by a dog on 2 occasions as a kid, bitten both times. Didn't make me afraid cos I'm nails but really put me off them. Thinking back they have been spaniel cross breeds too. Mad cunts.

 

Sounds like you missed a trick there avoiding the shit machine, you could easily have restoked your daughter's fears. Whose psychological piece of mind is more important, yours or hers? ;)

 

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dogs are class, mine has finally settled down totally housebroken and zero hassle, we dodged a lot of bullets mind bar the toilet training, never destroyed wires/walls/clothes etc, has a box for her toys and will go lift what she wants out and brings it in to the living room  then go for snooze :lol:

IMG_20210405_221817.jpg

 

 

in saying that there are some breeds i wouldn't have about me, and some i'd never let near a kid in a million years, for all the talk of "it's the owners fault", that's a load of balls  when it comes to some breeds, you never see a golden lab on the news for attacking a baby.

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59 minutes ago, Ant said:

dogs are class, mine has finally settled down totally housebroken and zero hassle, we dodged a lot of bullets mind bar the toilet training, never destroyed wires/walls/clothes etc, has a box for her toys and will go lift what she wants out and brings it in to the living room  then go for snooze :lol:

IMG_20210405_221817.jpg

 

 

in saying that there are some breeds i wouldn't have about me, and some i'd never let near a kid in a million years, for all the talk of "it's the owners fault", that's a load of balls  when it comes to some breeds, you never see a golden lab on the news for attacking a baby.

I would never leave any dog (even my own who I trust implicitly) alone with a kid, ever.

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Aye well that's fair enough, but the point remains the same, charlie the cockapoo  is miles less likely to be on the news for eating a babys face, it'll 95% of the time always a pitbull/staffy etc (who has an equally stupid name to suit)

even if you google "dog mauls child" the first result i got was a bull terrier called "Chaos" who wrecked a 5 year old, next results under again pit bulls

 

 

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