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I've changed my office to a room with patio doors. At least one fucking pigeon a day flies into them at full pelt, the thick twats. Not to sound like that tit from Parklife, I do enjoy watching the small birds around my bird feeder. Robins, chaffinches, bull finches, blue tits.... surprisingly colourful UK birds when you think about it. Also get visits from this chap. Technically a rodent I guess but then so are my pigs.

"Jadon, lad we're paying Man Utd £5m to remove you from our premises but just hold that pose while we take a photo of you in our new away kit...." Chelsea 25-26 Away Kit Leaked - Tribute to Iconic 1974 Kit & Hungarian Team - Footy Headlines

Manufactured on the outskirts of Kendal no less.

Yes that was one of the ways I was thinking.

I remember being shattered to find that it is not, in fact, drunk in the Congo.

I’d piss myself if they signed Longstaff* You’d hear the fewm on the ISS. * MATTY, not Sean.

No concerns from me mate, I’ve always had you bookmarked as a fellow wrong ‘un. Had a bird strike on the nice bit of the A19 this morning- not a pigeon, we hit those regularly as they’re dumb as rocks, and also flying rats. No, this was a little finch, greenfinch I think. There was a feathery flash, a dull thud, then the poor little fucker landed , dead, on the windscreen wipers briefly, before falling off and probably turning to bird mist. I was surprised as I thought finches were relatively intelligent for birds. Not that it helped this little idiot, as his brain shot out of his arse when he hit the screen. RIP Finchy.

Fucking horrendous!

They've started a thread on "Who is going to be our Kieran Richardson" signing Current names being banded around .... Henderson, Sancho, Eriksen.

I still expect Juwwde to take his regular constitutionals along Roker Beaych and then pop in to the city centre for a shit, mind. He loves the place.

If he lasts that long he’ll have the record.

“Jobe” off to Dortmund apparently. Didn’t fancy the relegation battle

Rumours abound that we've interviewed David Hopkinson to replace Eales - at least that's what Hope is reporting. 54 year-old Canadian was in charge of the US-based Madison Square Garden Sports Corporation and was Global Head of Partnerships for Real Madrid between 2018 and 2020. Also had involvement with Toronto FC.

That’s horrifying. America is fucked

Sounds like Umbongo's agent is hawking the twat around for £150-£200k a week... no one at Newcastle can get that until Isak does

He's too short for a start

Well yes but wasn't there talk about him wanting to make Guehi a statement signing? Could well have seen Mbuemo as the same. I'm not sure he fits Howe's profile in a number of ways.

Mbueno feels like more of a Howe signing than a Mitchell signing to me. Wasn’t lardass’s main shtick supposed to be unearthing rare gems from abroad?

But don't take @Christmas Tree 's recommendation for a pre-match drink. 👍

The more I think about the RW, if McAtee is available from Man City, I could see us going for him. Can play RW but could also sit in the midfield three and thread some passes about in a way that others can’t

Horrible

The type that left a dimpled imprint if it smacked against you? Yup

@Diego21 Get your flights booked, son.

It’s a basketball in fancy clothes.