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"Ladies and gentlemen, Jackie Shiter has now left the building, fangoo'ver-much."

“the more I think about this entirely fictitious scenario that could only ever exist in my head, the more I think it could be true”

Curling out a Big Hunk o' Love there

Apparently he usually wore it flat, Mr. Logic style… … but the pic was taken after he’d laid his cable, tried to wipe his arse with his hands, then had a brief moment of clarity and sat with his head in his hands…

He’s hardly played on the right though?

The haircut and never living down a shite. Maybe we should let them have Elvis lads. They ARE elvis.

I imagine this means we are in for Elanga OR Pedro rather than both

That haircut is still the most embarrassing thing about that photo

The fucking size of this lad’s hooter!

Was taking the absolute piss out of them when he did as we IIRC

facial recognition at the turnstiles won't be used on fans but only to allow entry for people who work at the stadium. aye, ok. it's a knocking bet though that'll be introduced (by bizarre coincidence obviously)at about the same time as you'll need to include a passport/driving licence photo of yourself when renewing a season ticket/membership. and it'll be in place at sjp long before the foundations start getting dug for a new ground.

Saved two pens against the mackems - that'll do for me [/RTG]

How many goals did Burnley concede last season? 10? I appreciate it's the championship but still He must be decent.

From a BBC article about this years Lindisfarne festival still going ahead despite the organisers going bust… Anyone got a spare ticket, never thought I’d see the day Dave Lee Roth played a farm in North Northumberland.

A Geordie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked "Do you have any sales experience?" The young man answered "Aye, loads, I was a canny salesman back in Newcastle." The manager liked the Geordie so he gave him the job. His first day on the job was challenging and busy, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked "OK,...... so how many sales did you make today?" The Geordie said "Just a few." The manager groaned and continued "Just a few? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for? £124,237.64" replied the Geordie. The manager choked and exclaimed £124,237.64, what the hell did you sell him?" "Well, forst I selt him a smaal fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and then I selt him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was gannin' fishing and he said doon at the coast, so I telt him he would need a boat, so we went doon tiv the boat department and I selt him that twin-engined Power Cat. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him doon tiv the car sales and I selt him the 4 x 4 Suzuki". The manager, incredulous, said "You mean to tell me....a man came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and 4x4?" "Nah, nah......he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his lass and I said......... 'Well, since ya weekend's fucked, you might as well gan fishing."

Brrrring…brrrring…brrrring… ” Hello, The Fish residence, Mr. The Fish speaking. ( Jenny Powell lives around the corner, you know!) “ ” MR. BLADDY FISH! HOW CAN YOU SLAP????”

Cheeky bastard!

According to this BBC article , she’s taking it badly … https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cpvkwvgevmrt?post=asset%3Ab8eadb0c-9c2c-4579-9721-81ba4710959e#post I feel for her tbh, it’s not like any Facist dictators have ever deployed their troops against demonised sections of their own citizens at any time in history before… … still would mind, right in the back pipes Latinas…they’re like catnip.

Trafford is better in the air

I'm convinced I spoke about it on here but I can't find it. I once got a takeaway curry that was grainy soup with 3 or 4 bits of "chicken" in it. Plus it was over an hour late and was lacking the poppadoms we were offered as an apology. I left a bad review and was then genuinely harassed for days by phone.

looks like elanga is the new target for that position