Billy Castell

Beavis and Butthead do America has a surprisingly good soundtrack. I like Pulp Fiction's too.

Did he say "That'shhh a shhame. I'm in the the shit." Or was it "Vhy have you sacked me? I am sure I vould ton it around. I'll ring my egent.....Hallo? Achtung Ken....."

That's a Bridlington stripper.

Looks more like Ralf to me. And doesn't Amy look just like her dad?

Over rated: Spongebob Squarepants. Under rated: Ren and Stimpy Over rated: Gavin and Stacey Under rated: Early Doors

Who else thinks that the army will eventually get bored and directly take over? Sure, the USA may suspend its funding for a year or two but they'd be happy with a strong man in charge if it stopped the bearded loonies taking over.

What's a mutant Christiano Ronaldo/Bob Stokoe got to do with it HF? I'm confused.

Coventry has been slowly improving over recent times, but there are parts that are still shit like where I live (Hillfields). The city centre is no longer the miserable modernist 60's tower block type of thing, and the people are usually reasonably friendly. Out of the many places I've lived Bridlington is easily the worst. It has an inbred, Royston Vasey vibe. I've found an old blog that I wrote in 2006, that gives you a rough idea of the place: --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hello people. I have now moved to Bridlington, since I couldn't get a job anywhere, and I am amazed at the place. No, the streets are not paved with gold, and the buildings do not push architure to new heights. Rather I am amazed at the following: 1. How many balding fat men there are. I have lost count of the number of overweight men with saved heads there seems to be. Some are so fat they actually look like their waters are about to break. 2. How ignorant people are. They generally stand in your way, and don't move. And they also have no concept of road safety. Many people have stepped into the road in front of the car I'm in and adopted that 'if I can't see you, you can't hit me' attitude as they shuffle across the road. 3. There are countless spaz chariots, wheelchairs and walking sticks about, which make it hard for the more mobile pedestrian. Perhaps they have all been run over. 4. Loads of old people, invariably with small dogs and something to help their mobility. Very few ethnic minorities as well, which is very different from Bedford. One more thing that annoys me is that the two libraries don't have computers that support memory sticks i.e. no USB port. Is it 1995 here or something? Therefore, I can't use the library to send off my CV, which is on my hard drive or a memory stick. I haven't worked out if there are any nightclubs here, but if there are, I'm not exactly expecting a goth club. No, more chavish bangin' choons innit. There is a good side to this place I'm sure, but it is as elusive as a good looking girl who isn't with a fat bald man in an England shirt, or a chav. --------------------------------------------------------------------- This extract is from something I wrote a few months later: Some other kind of fucking artist must have come up with that one. Anyhow, apart from that I have been assaulted by some chav for literally no reason, found out that the tennants of my parents flat have recieved copious amounts of racist abuse (one is black, the other Asian), and that everyone loves shitty Eurodance round here. What I would do for a nightclub that plays my sort of music. The big darts tournament is on here at the mo, and all the crazy people are here. Served some Dutch people earlier today, who were here to see Ray Barneveld I presume. Very polite crowd, I liked them. I have had to endure tedious dance shit at work the past couple of days. There is a CD player, and I've had ©rap, and a compelation probably entitled 'Shit, nondescript Eurodance covers 2006' on a loop. You start to feel old when you can remember the originals the shit acts cover. I mean i had to endure an awful version of Angel Eyes by Wet Wet Wet for fucks sake. I know I should put on some Tomahawk or Rammstein to rip their faces off. No doubt they'll whine, but they have no culture. ----------------------------------------------------

We have a lack of decent forwards and your solution is to play all three.... . My thinking is 'sod it, play all of them, then one will probably score!'. Ideal formation was probably too strong, but you could either go 4-6-0 and go for a 0-0 every game, which is safer, or just attack like mad and hope for the best. Either approach can cause a team to get into trouble, so I picked the one that might get goals.

Here's your team's ideal formation GK CB/CB/CB Barton/Nolan/Tchiote/Enrique or Gutierrez* Best/Ranger/Shola *=I can never remember which one is a winger. Barton and Nolan attack from midfield to push up with the 3 strikers, with the left winger bombing forward. Alternitavely, drop Best for Ireland, who'll also be an attacking midfielder. Alright, it will leave you exposed, but if you play all 3, one might score. I'm not mocking your team, but attempting to work out how to get the best out of a bad bunch.

On a more positive note, she's out in the public domain now. I reckon she'd fancy her chances with you if you fancied a rendezvous. I couldn't possibly. You saw her first. What a gentleman. Maybe you double up and have 2 tits each. Anyhow, I've seen smaller [love] handles used to open a container lorry. Or 4 of us could suckle on her like little piglets. I'll take the upper east side if that's alreet with you's like. First come, first served. I'd guarantee that'd be me. The sight of her face and her recieding Mick Hucknall hairdo would prevent me from ever coming. And if you go carpet munching, safety first, as Danny Boyle's educational film points out:

Jesus guys, it makes me cringe to see your strikefarce (sic). It is even worse than when we had Sam picking from McCarthy, Roberts and Samba.

On a more positive note, she's out in the public domain now. I reckon she'd fancy her chances with you if you fancied a rendezvous. I couldn't possibly. You saw her first. What a gentleman. Maybe you double up and have 2 tits each. Anyhow, I've seen smaller [love] handles used to open a container lorry.

That lower league loan I mentioned was Jason Pucheon, who played under Pardew (as did his girlfriend, probably) at Southampton. He's gone to Blackpool on a perminent deal instead. Any news on a Carroll replacement?

Hope he is wrong on that score, for your collective sanity.

Copied from a national journalist who posts on BRFCS.com: You will NOT believe the player heading for Newcastle United right now to sign... Lower division. Six-month loan. Mike Ashley had better not go near the ground any time soon. Oh dear. No mention of names yet.

Apart from the obvious, what's different about a 12 string? Why have double the number of strings?

It is as bad as when I heard that Shearer joining your team. The Blackburn site has mentioned Wickham, Carltonn Cole or Elmander moving in to replace Carroll. £35m+ isn't bad for a player who can end up in prison though. Apparently we have signed Rochina and Formica, though nowt official has been mentioned. However, Jason Roberts has signed a new 1 year contract. Wow.

Hope Carroll stays. I'm all too familiar with the window being filled with dread that the better players will leave with no-one coming in.

It's not the same without stroke boy, and his 13 mobile phones.

She'll be stitched up in court, as the judge and P. Diddy are both free masons, and secretly alien reptiles from outer space. Her neighbours dog will tell her this, and advise her to murder them and 10 other people involved in the elaborate conspiracy to make Brian Blessed The Emporer of the galaxy.

Can't wait to put it into my rocket car. I'll get my robot butler Jeeves to get some as soon as it comes out.

Maybe Fox are eluding to another invaision if Palin wins in 2012. If this all spreads to Jordan, there isn't even a Star Trek spin-off King Abdullah could appear on.

So the war in Iraq, started a chain of events leading to Tunisia/Egypt kicking off? OK then. So the hundreds of thousands blown up in terrorist attacks, the oil wealth being leaving Iraq for Haliburton et al, the billions of pounds wasted and misappropriated post-war, the increase in anti-Western hatred in the Muslim world, the increase in fear and division here and the fact that George W. Bush was elected for a disasterous second term was worth it.

I'm not sure the protesters are MB types, but generally pissed off unemployed young people. I think the army will probably oust the current regime and rule for a bit. Whether they will let a liberal democracy take over is another matter. I like the fact it is a 'day of rage', and I feel that we need some of those soon.