Billy Castell

what am I listening to? The sound of countless millions of Australians making a noise like the world's biggest vuvuzela asking a question in an angry manner.

Looked it up and you play Villa away in April. Plenty of time to make banners mocking their relegation, as they did with you.

Personally, I think you are safe. Unless Pardew really fucks up, I'd say you'll finish around 13th. Blackburn, Wolves, Brum, Fulham, Wigan, Blackpool or even Villa are more likely to be relegated. The only way Blackburn can avoid relegation is if we play a blinder in the transfer market and sign 2 good midfielders and at least 1 quality striker.

2nd hand, for £50. Of course I've no idea if it is a good make, but I'm not exactly skilled enough for it to matter. It looks nice anyway .

I'm not liking that jacket either. It is sort of a dodgy chav trying to look like a hard rock fan crossover from hell. I now have one of these:

I wouldn't gan that far. I've never seen a bigger amount of collective tramps as their support yesterday though. I remember when Barton first came he said Mancs are all about image and what they wear and how they look, whereas scousers and geordies are more earthy pisshead types. Well he's wrong, you don't see many scruffy toon fans, we're well dressed and presentable on the whole, them though yesterday like I say, was like 2,800 Paul Calfs. It's no wonder Manchester people are Britain's fattest and most susceptible to heart attacks. http://www.true-faith.co.uk/tf/Matches.nsf...ulCalfLarge.jpg I don't think Man City have ever been that mouthy, last time they came here there was only 1,000 of them, that's all they ever used to bring give or take 500 other than that neet Cup game when Keegan came back. A lot of Mancs are gobshites, doesn't matter how many they bring up, it's the sussed image they like to project. Got no time for them at all, even though they've had decent support in the past, it's the shit patter I can't stand. Proves that in football, and in life, money can buy you success, but not class.

That is even better than the Destiny's Child/Alf Garnett thing on rathergood.com

You think you have problems??........................... Haven't seen any of the game, but it sounds like you gave it a good go against a very good squad, with the Tevez Trump Card. Good to see Carroll keeping his form going to. Don't know why, but I'm starting to like him.

Loved watching Ponting whine at the ref. And they call us whingers. It wasn't out either. You can tell the pressure has got to him, and Siddle aside, the rest of the team will be affected. Watched until about 3, which is longer than most of the Aussies. I wonder how empty the ground will be tonight?

Bought a guitar from my brother-in-law's friend for £50, and I'm using my amazon vouchers for the rest. It is a Stagg I300 if that means anything to you. Anyhow, I presume I need two leads with these sockets to connect the guitar, amp and effects pedal: They 'feature all new moulded 6.35mm Gold-Tipped compression Jack Plugs' and they look like the right sort.

Got shut in the freezer whilst working at Somerfield. I was getting some stock out of the freezer room for a customer, and I didn't push the door far enough for it to stay open. True to form for that place, the mechanism that allowed you to open the door from the inside didn't work (which is illegal). Luckily I could get a signal on my mobile, rang my girlfriend, who went to the store to tell the staff I was in there.

What sort of things were they doing? Jingle all the way is on now. Oh dear.

Quite a while ago, when I was in Devon, a man of around 24 was in front of me in the queue at the till with condoms, KY Jelly and baby food. Make of that what you will.

Something to do with attention probably.

Skybet has Leonardo odds on favourite. Is that the Leonardo that was pretty average at AC Milan? Sam's odds are not available for some reason.

Lazarus being the exception to the rule. And Fop's trigger finger. Anyway, dogs are naturally wary of donkeys and the emporers Ming Zhengtong and Ming Tianshun were the same person.

Saw Spirited Away on TV. I really liked it, it was really imaginative, and much more than the usual talking animals + Celebrity voices formula most US animations consist of.

Indeed, he was a great buy. However, I'd not sell him as he is one of our few good players, I'd not trust that all the money won't go into Venky's/Anderson's pocket and Jones is out for up to 5 months. If you sell Barton, you can replace him with Andrews or Grella at a reasonable price.

I'll wait and see. He may be good, you never know.

Got £10-15m lying around then? Samba is better than all your defenders.

The Lib Dems have shown themselves to be the complete sell-outs we knew they were. Propping up what is increasingly looking like a vicious government that wants to give the rich more money at the expense of the vulnerable in return for a tiny scrap of power. And no doubt the coalition will be crawling to Murdoch, apologising to their master.

When that advert where it encourages you to see what happens when Jessica Ennis does some exercise with a gym comes on, I always think to myself "No thanks, it won't be what I'm thinking."

Jake Humphreys: And that almost concludes tonight's proceedings, but there is just one more video to show. Now the Formula 1 season is over, I went down to CTCRM Lympstone in Devon for some very specific training from the Royal Marines.......

Brazil and Die Hard

I think Steve Gibson has to offer free blow jobs from Nuts models to get Boro fans to go to the Riverside if Sunderland are struggling to bring them in.