Billy Castell

I have to say Tom is a wanker. He seems to be lost in his silly fantasy world of volcano dwelling spirits and litigation.

He should stick to testing car suspension in public places.

Typed 'armchair penis' into google and I got these pictures: I really am providing a service here.

The Hill Trolls need to maintain the Premier League adrenaline as long as possible in order to keep up. Their squad is even worse thinner than ours, and those who are playing for them are at best fit for your bench. And their goalie, Brian 'the beast' Jensen is outdoing Gomes in the mental and panicy behaviour. Their only real asset is the manager, who seems to have the potential to go very far with a real team. Just watch them fall around December.

They are Stevie-they're the most deluded and annoying twats in football. The stadium really is a copy of the Emirates, so perhaps it'll be the 'Qatar Airways Arena'. Or Mossad Park.

Don't think so. Hull and Portsmouth are real relegation material at the moment, whilst I'd say Wolves, West Ham or Burnley will take the last spot. We'll not be brilliant, but we'll be around 12th-16th. Not bad considering we're skint. As for Boro, when they cancelled that game against us some time in the mid-to-late 90's because of flu, there was a story I heard that it was because of all sorts of internal problems. The story goes that Emerson pissed off to Brazil and came back with his bit on the side, and the Brazilian love machine was also knocking off another player's wife. Add to that Ravenelli's huge ego and the dressing room was a bonfire. To cope with this, Robbo got plastered in a wine bar in Manchester, had a fight and spent a night in the cells. Of course, that'll all be bollocks, but you can see where that footballers wives came from.

36-28-34

Fucking annoying that two of our best players this season have swine flu, just in time for the away games against Chelsea and Man Utd.

Thought Anne Summers was bringing out a range of furniture when I saw the title. Happy Birthday

Yeah, there probably are hundreds of better examples, but my mind went blank.

I hope Cosworth can produce a decent engine, as they ended up the cheapo option with little power last time round. I am a Williams and McLaren fan, and wish the former can one day get back to the glory days of the early 90's.

I think this is likely to be a similar move to when Kluivert moved to you, or when Bebeto nearly moved to Falkirk, St. Johnstone or whichever Scottish club it was. A big name, a big reputation but a smaller club that may get nothing out of him but a headache.

Cosworth? Lotus? Goodness me, we'll have Ligier powered by Peurgeot and a return of Hart engines next. This coming season is going to be interesting with all the new teams, driver moves etc. Thanks for the info Craig, as I'm so out of the loop. Oh, and if I was Mr. Whitworth, I'd be tempted to keep with the KERS system.

Renault? Interesting. They won't be able to fork out for a Merc engine, or another top engine, but Renault might be pretty handy, although it may be difficult if they do actually develop a KERS system, as had been rumoured around the time of the Singapore GP. I also wonder what the new teams will be plumping for. Lotus are joining aren't they?

It would be amusing if she did get the job, given Newell's love of female officals in the male leagues.

What is this, brfcs.com???!!!

I wondered where Kimi was going to go if he wasn't going to McLaren. It would be a bit harsh on Webber if he gets bumped down to Torro Rosso to make room for the Finn. I'd love to see Button or Rosberg in a McLaren next season with Hamilton. On a different subject, has there being any news or rumours on whose engines Williams will be using, and where Nick Heidfeld will be next season?

Ciccio Grabbi and Per Pedersen are worth being put forward on Blackburn's behalf along with the collosal flop that was Kevin Davies (Kaba Diawara was worse, but we were in the 1st division then). As for other clubs, what about Marco Boogers of West Ham who made more of an impression on Gary Neville's thigh than in the scoring department, then buggered off to a caravan in Holland. And of course, there is the Italian Stallion himself..............Andrea Silenzi.

Ouch. It is strange how Mr. Horse face was sacked at this time, as he was doing OKish, and they have a good chance of automatic promotion. Obviously Strachan or whoever else may sign on was contacted on the sly. I think Gordon has some job to do, as Boro have little money and the smog monsters are staying at home.

It's all odd with the mysterious owners who no-one has met. And no surprise that McParland has been ditched. Either Sven will become manager or some big name whose been out of work for ages will come in.

Gillian McKeith is fitter. I bet that's put some off this geordie gang bang.

Phil Brown also invented the internet and ducks. I didn't mind him when Hull went up, but he seems to be an increasingly eccentric figure. The tan, the made up stories, and the love of being in the media are all coming together into one Michael Knightonesque joke. I reckon within the next 5 years he'll be completely mental and wearing a shellsuit in a press conference called to 'unveil' the conspiricy that referees are space lizards from the planet Moog.

True, small players who are not fast have very little chance of making it unless they have supernatural abilities on the ball. It's the same with rugby union, where Shane Williams apart, wingers are becoming increasingly strong and tall, and centres have do be at least 6 foot 2 and able to bash and tackle like a forward. Even fly halves have to be big and tough. Neil Jenkins would not have made it in modern rugby.

It's the supermarkets that are the biggest cause of the problems. The booze is so cheap, and there is such a range that people can easily pay £15 and then lose the ability to walk and piss themselves. I've only had one 'fear and loathing' nightwith alcohol and that was enough. I could barely walk up the stairs to my flat, and I think I was using my forehead as an extra leg to help me up at one point in that epic journey. I don't see why people do it all the time, as you make yourself look like a right twat to the sober people working at the kebab shop. Doesn't Newcastle have a reputation for being mental on Saturday nights?

I watched a Louis Theroux documentary on them last night I bet they're ringing up Fox News saying he's going to turn the world into some sort of Nazi, Communist, anti-American, Jewish, Muslim superstate as I type. And I bet Fox are adding to that sentiment too.