Billy Castell

Leave the room and come back with Danny Dyer, who I'd throw in and lock the door. After an hour, I'd throw in two condoms and then leave the building for a year.

With luck, Grayson will leave Leeds for another team, and Dennis lives out that act at Elland Road. Never liked the guy, he seems to be one of those cockney gobshites who think they're hard like Danny Dyer or Paul Ince.

Since it is a meaningless game for us, I'd have only watched it if the team was: David James Ken Dodd/Boris Johnson/Ian Huntley/Derek Acorah Captain Birdseye/Darren Gough Lemmy/David Dunn/Sacha Baron Cohen Eddie Izzard

That is true. Gunning is a youth player we have brought on, but he's at that stage where he needs to go on loan for experience, Nelsen isn't quite the immense figure he was a few years ago, and Samba has had a few little injuries. Chimbonda can fill in on occaision as central defender, but not against a team like Arsenal, whilst moving Givet into central defence means Olsson may get a game at left back. Olsson is pretty good going forward, but very suspect defensively. It's probably the same as having Duff at left back. Zurab was a good squad player who may have played in more games, but every Blackburn fan understands why he would not want to spend another season on the bench. We almost sold him to Galatasaray this summer, but it fell through at the last minute.

Surely there are only so many middle eastern muppets willing to throw money at a football club. Whenever a team looks like they're going under, up pops some unknown Arab bloke called Mohammed El Jibab Al Mansour-Jones, or Jimmy to his friends to buy them. It seems the worse you have been run, the better you're chances are of an Arab takeover. Newcastle being an obvious exception of course. Liverpool will be the next club to dodge a bullet when their debts become a bit spicy. Makes you wonder if Harry sensed something when Spurs came knocking. He left at just the right time.

Makes me think of that bit in Hellboy when John Hurt talks to the new FBI agent about how Hitler died in 1951 or whenever. The new FBI agent corrects him by saying he died in 1945, which gets the response "did he?". Actually Adolf is very much alive.

I'm so happy that talentless, tedious arrogant woman has chosen to stop inflicting her banal and mundane mockney rubbish upon the public. She was created by media hype, and her success spawned the even worse crap bag that is Kate Nash. But I still would though.

How do you rate him after a few games? I always thought he was under rated whilst at Rovers, and was a steady character. We could have done with him on Sunday as we only had 1 central defender. Anyway, I think he'll be a very shrewd signing, especially at that level.

At this rate, there will be nowt for Stroke Boy to get excited about on Tuesday. I hope he hasn't just taken a contract out on his 2nd mobile, or he'd be a bit gutted. He does have a fanbase, which is a bit odd.

The NHS is a bit of a pigs ear at the moment, partially down to the partial privatisation, partially to old fashioned red tape, but it is far better than a wholly private one. Have you noticed how your train and energy bills have rocketed over the last 10-20 years? That is because the privatisation has allowed companies to charge what they like, regardless of running costs, fuel prices etc. Who'll stop your bills from going up 12% a year? No-one as they're all owned by foreign companies who see us as a soft touch. As for the US and all the crap the Alaskan Blue et al have been spouting, well they're just American, so they are all borderline retards.

I don't know the details of all these reforms, but something that aspires to the original priniples of the NHS has to be a good thing. I can't imagine anyone happily writing off 40 million of their population as unimportant and criticise any attempts to make sure everyone has a good level of healthcare. Oh, sorry, this is in the USA isn't it? They have masses of mindless dribbling cretins who think such ideals are 'commie talk' that will bring about a Bolshevik revolution led by those famous Nazis who were all either half black or Jewish . I would find a clip that explains what I think of the US right wingers, and their hypocracy that is influencing the US public, but I don't think you'll approve of a video of Rupert Murdoch and his mates gang raping a retarded child.

I'm expecting a return for Nakano, Rosset, Alesi, Verstappen, Frentzen and/or Diniz next season with these new teams coming in.

You must of said something to upset her for that to happen. "Schweinhund! Hande Hoch! Raus raus!" (copyright Commando comic) I imagine "Rein raus!" was more on his mind at the time.

I'm thinking of that episode of Phoenix Nights when Max was taking the piss out of Paddy, saying he's bald etc. after this thread.

Another Football Manager superstar that hasn't quite made it thus far. He may still become a good player, as Spurs usually ruin young players, but I'd not sign him for Blackburn.

Kiwi TV is absolute crap, that is so true. They had celebrity survivour on when I went there, and if you knew nothing about rugby, you would know no-one on it, as you'd have no chance with the others. Hong Kong TV was just as bad, as they had a teacher at my school presenting both the Olympics coverage, and a children's TV show called Noodles. For the former they had to wear hideous blazers in lovely colours such as lime green. To get back on topic, Eduardo's dive was awful. As bad as the Diouf dive, and he should be ashamed. No doubt that lying, cheating, hypocritical little weasly cunt Wenger didn't see it, and has complained that Celtic dared touch his little darlings.

Jeffers was the so-called "fox in the box". Sounds like he's shortly to be the berk with no work. iirc he screwed Everton over royally, the club who nurtured his talent and helped him recuperate from a lengthy injury. He joined Arsenal on mega wages but was usually injured and did nowt. Since then he's been a journey man player as far as I can tell. No one seems to like him..... Brian Laws clearly does. We've been linked to Boro's Andy Taylor now, whilst The Daily Mail says that Fulham have signed Marko Janko from Red Bull Salzburg on loan.

Any excuse to get rid of a shocking player. Had him at Ewood Park on a bosman when Hughes was manager. He was as effective as a condom with a hole in each end.

Too true Fish, too true.

Forgot about Mutt-ola. God she was more manly than Merv Hughes. You'd be there watching some hot Russian, wanting to crak one off and then all of a sudden........"what the fuck is James Brown doing? And what has he taken to look like that?"

I know it is early, and we've about a week to go before the deadline day, but I thought I'd put a thread up since the transfer merry-go-round seems to be warming up. This is for all those last minute panic buys etc. you get arond this time when Man City buy another 14 players without bothering with medicals, and Blackburn sign another Steadinho or Bothroyd on loan. In case you were wondering, the title is named in honour of Sky Sports' Andy Burton (see below), a man whose health is always questioned around this time of yearfor reasons that are now self-explanitory. OK, before this thread dies out, lets post a few transfer stories: Blackburn closing in on former Mackem full back Citeh looking after another striker Warnock to Villa? Looks like Blackburn are starting before Stroke boy has even sat down.

The Ashes was like one of those games where one team dominates the other, looks better but creates few chances (Australia). The other team tries hard, is under the kosh, and creates less, save for one or two moments of class and wins the game (England).

+1 Now all we need is to murder Simon Cowell, that skinny orange ferret woman from the dancing show and Piers Morgan.

She stopped all that long before I was with her, and her daughter is well behaved, and is actually really intelligent. As for my uncle, well I'm sure my auntie Fiona would have sorted him out as soon as she got home don't you worry. It was my 16 year old Newcastle supporting cousin if you were wondering. I know the sort you mean Fish, and they annoy me too.

Here's the reason why West Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhm won't be penalised beyond a small fine: Anyway, I'd like the following to happen: 1. Both teams get points deducted* 2. Both teams banned from domestic cups for 2 years 3. Both teams to play the next 5 games behind closed doors. *=I know this would never happen as it is the FA not the Football league/Premier League who are investigating the matter and it was a cup game. However a strong message needs to be sent out.