Billy Castell

Imagine if that team had to play Brighton or Plymouth? Chasing all the sailor boys and all that.

I wonder who the head coach/manager will be? This is all rather strange, but then football has gone mad years ago. I wonder if Dennis Wise will be offering advice on how to succeed in his role.

This thread is hilarious. Reminds me of a certain Wayne Mycock which in itself is worth a smile. He was known at school as mars bar for the reasons in this topic. There was also Jason Wigley who was called cheese for allegedly wanking on some mints and eating them.

We are apparently making a move on a striker, with rumours of Sam scouting about in Russia. So Vanger Love in the blue and white halves in the next 7 days then

Fucking hell. I'm surprised you haven't all committed suicide. The players are a disgrace to even your away shirt. A loss wouldn't have surprised me, but 6-1???!!

Astonishing to think he was middle aged by WW2, and a pensioner by the time of the moon landings. There was a French woman who lived to 127 or so, who died a few years ago and her dad owned a paint shop. Reporters were stunned when she said she had met Vincent Van Gogh when she was a little girl, as Vincent often bought paint at her dad's shop. Cue all the reporters getting all reverential after they asked what he was like, only to be told he was rude, horrible and stank of booze all the time.

Don't blame any of you fans for holding back on the season tickets. Haven't looked to see how much they are, but forking out a few hundred £ for anything with so many things going wrong and unresolved would be madness. Everything about Newcastle is in a right mess, and if it continues, only the weirdest of masachists would turn up for every game.

He he he. Christian Vieri is apparently packing his bags afternot playing against Hadjuk Split. Probably jumping before he was pushed. It is being said he was also the size of Gazza's old mate Jimmy too and made Benni McCarthy look slim.

So who do you think is going to win between Khan and the other bloke? Whenever I see Khan, which isn't often, he looks the part except when the opponent sticks one on him. Then he just goes down quicker than a prossie with a £50 note. Khan vs. Hatton would be interesting.

Poetry that like, Billy. The more I hear what is going on at your club, the more my heart sinks. The amount of shit that has happened to Newcastle United FC in the last 12 months or so is simply beyond a joke. Sure, relegation raised a few sniggers from non-Geordie fans, as did the unexpected appointment of JFK, but it is now like someone kicking a dog after they have broken its legs and its ribs. If most neutrals came here and read the crap you have had to see go on at your club, I bet the tune would be more sympathetic than "ha ha, sad deluded Geordie cunts." I know that my team will not be missed by the media or other fans as we are seen as a northern Milwall, but to see any other club being shat on repeatedly like this is awful. I'd even feel a bit sorry for Spurs after a while if they had to go through this, and you know I am not a fan of them. Kind sentiments about us, but I really don't know how you think Blackburn are seen as a 'Northern Millwall'. Comparing Millwall to Rovers is like comparing Gary Glitter to Dr Barnado. I'll assume Blackburn are not the ones touring Cambodia in that analogy . Anyway, we are a sort of northern Millwall in the eyes of the media after the 2005 FA Cup Semi Final when we spent the match kicking the shit out of Arsenal. The spine of the team were the meek and shy characters of Andy Todd, Aaron Mokoena, Robbie Savage and Paul Dickov so it was fair enough then. However, we had been trying to recover from Graeme Souness, and had to fight for our lives to stay in the Premier League whilst having no money to really buy quality. Ever since then the myth that Blackburn are the dirtiest team in the league has been perpetuated by that blind, hypocritical, arrogant cunt Arsene Wenger who always goes to the media and says he needs protection for his players from the nasty blue and white bullies so they can be free to walk the ball into the net, dive and occaisionally try to end a Rovers player's season. Van Rapist and Bergkamp were the worst for this. It happens before we play them on almost every occaision and people fall for it, including referees. Tackles that usually get a firm telling off can become yellow cards and so on.

Apparently he is. I think I got him mixed up with a player who played for Dynamo Kiev and was from Uzbekistan.

Who fucking knows but have you seen the size of this place? There could be ten times that and you still would only see one on your plate for Sunday lunch. According to wikipedia: So Billy Sooo, I am a sheep shagger because I'm not from a place where there are sheep? I'm now confused. Good smiley though.

Groening won't miss this opportunity to flog a dying or dead horse for more cash. After all, the Simpsons should have been binned 10 years ago and the movie was way past its sell by date when it hit the screens. Matt is the TV equivilent of George Lucas.

Isn't there something like 200 million sheep in Australia? Whatever the actual figure, the sheep to person ratio is velcro glove wearingly high I believe, and is nearly as bad as New Zealand. Anyway, my dad, and my grandad are both monkey hangers by birth so nice try but no cigar.

Mike Ashley continues his search for a buyer of Newcastle. Rumours of desperation to sell are refuted.

Let's slaughter the sheep fuckers tomorrow. I still think weather and the convicts will conspire to draw the match though.

He wouldn't need a bottle opener for his brown ale if you had teeth like that! Oral sex might be a bit kinky though.

Poetry that like, Billy. The more I hear what is going on at your club, the more my heart sinks. The amount of shit that has happened to Newcastle United FC in the last 12 months or so is simply beyond a joke. Sure, relegation raised a few sniggers from non-Geordie fans, as did the unexpected appointment of JFK, but it is now like someone kicking a dog after they have broken its legs and its ribs. If most neutrals came here and read the crap you have had to see go on at your club, I bet the tune would be more sympathetic than "ha ha, sad deluded Geordie cunts." I know that my team will not be missed by the media or other fans as we are seen as a northern Milwall, but to see any other club being shat on repeatedly like this is awful. I'd even feel a bit sorry for Spurs after a while if they had to go through this, and you know I am not a fan of them.

1. Porcupine-Echo and the bunnymen 2. Just a man-Faith No more 3. Knights of Cydonia or House of the Rising Sun-Muse 4. Slow life-Super Furry Animals

Mike Ashley's legacy is one of bitterness, ridicule and horror. Even Michael 'the truth is out there' Knighton would have done a better job. The plethora of managers, temporary managers and acting managers in just one season is an example of the sheer incompetence of his ownership. And lets not go into the whole Dennis Wise issue. And now he is making it worse by not appointing any manager at all, and thus ripping apart any pre-season plans. Newcastle needed someone with a cool head, patience and a long term plan. What you got was a wideboy who wanted to please the fans and then went all Frank Spencer when things were a bit shaky and the fans were unhappy. To sum up Ashley had bought a club that needed stability, but ended up pushing it into the water and keeping its head below the surface.

Don't remind me of Given. We had him but then you bastards poached him. I was, and will always be gutted we didn't ship out Flowers and gave him the number 1 shirt. I remember seeing him on loan for the makems and thinking "fucking hell, he's going to be brilliant". £1.5m was painful and a pittance. We have had good goalies since then, and sadly Alan Fettis who can't be described as a goalie at all, but I'll always like Given. Only Friedel has filled that void.

They have done worse. This is from the 1991-92 season. Jesus fucking christ what were they smoking when they approved of that design? It makes a photo of an STI look appealing. Mind you, I got this when when my hometown team Barnet got promoted under the leadership of super Barry Fry. In my defence, the club's catalogue had some picture of it, but no photo. Let me just say that it is unlikely you won't be seen at night when riding a bicycle.

You mean he had the clap? Sounds just like Paul Ince, who was spouting off about how he was not given any money at all, had never been backed by the board etc. despite spending more than Hughes did and generally screwing things up in such a way that the board couldn't trust him with any money. He brought in 4th rate coaches, Robbie Fowler and introduced an unprofessional drinking culture which annoyed the more reserved players such as Friedel. The behind the scenes work (training, team building etc.) was so shambolic many players became dispirited and gave up. Or nicked the team coach and went for a drive whilst hammered (allegedly).

Re Fish: Been linked to Zigic again, so that'll be our big signing if its true (he's 6 foot 7). Not sure as he has scored 13 goals in 16 games for Racing Santander whilst on loan, but can also play like he's smoked a kilo of weed and has motor neurone disease. The Sun says we want an Austrian called Erwin Hoffer, also a striker and Chamakh, the Ukrainian striker at Bordeaux. The latter however, is also linked to your neighbours, and Arsenal who are is 1st choice. These are the rumours, and here are the deals that have officially been done: IN: Van Heerden (winger) Nzonzi (def. midfielder) Jacobsen (right back) Givet (left back/central def. and bargain) A 16 year old Greek keeper. We also have a work permit for David Holiett a 19 year old striker who is supposed to be promising. Scored quite a few goals for St. Pauli in Krautland. OUT: Roque Mistranslated (part time Paraguayian radio DJ) Aaron Mokoena (Lumbering lumberjack) Matt Derbyshire (Striker) And some have probably been released, but I can't remember all of them. Re Parklife: All the bookies have us about 7/1, 9th or 10th favourites. William Hill has you at 16/1 to be relegated again, but you're way down the list.

off topic but was fortune west the one that played for gillingham whose team mates said shaved his nut sack in the shower after games, or am i thinking of some other lower league legend wayne allison type whose name escapes me. He did play at Gillingham, but I'm not sure about the scrotum shaving. Never heard that story.