Monster

Nah. Never liked Star Wars much.

While you're at it mate, treat yourself to this baby..... http://procart2.evocative.com/onionbag/ite...mp;category=117

This is me calm. You should see me when i've got the painters in.

I've been on me sister-in-laws boyfriends home brew all night and i'm still only seeing single. Useless fucker probably forgot the alcohol. I'm in a bit of a pish mood because there's no Ayr game because of boring arsey shitehawk Scotland and the endless fucking salivating the tits in this place do over grown men in skirts and ginger wigs falling over drunk after a 4-0 hiding. 'Isn't the Tartan Army great though, eh?' No, they are a bunch of losers who think getting fucking hammered is worth celebrating. If i wanted to watch a bunch of wasters get ridden soundly for 90 minutes i would watch Ayr. Which is what i would like to be doing were it not for all these erses that suddenly for some mysterious reason think Smith is a football manger just because Scotland managed to beat a bunch of photo-copier salesmen by a few goals. it doesn't half get right on me fucking man-boobs.

A few years ago i was watching the Worthingtons Cup Final on Sky. Richard Keyes introduced Frank Worthington and of course the wife goes:"Oh, i wondered who that trophy was named after!"

I doubt relegation is a possibilty. West Ham are in deep shit considering that Pardew apparently didn't want those Argies and they aren't trying a leg. They lost at home to Reading yesterday! Then there's Sheffield United - the sooner Colin Wanker is relegated the better - this years Suderland, no doubt. Watford - great young manager but no real quality or depth of squad and will struggle in winter once injuries and suspensions take hold. That's my bottom three this season.

Beat Raith Rovers 1-0 yesterday. that's three wins on the bounce9and three clean sheets) which means we're up to 3rd!!!

Revenge Of The Sith. Not bad if you don't mind all that Star Wars wank.

Christmas tree? It's fucking September! Oh, just kill me now.....

Led Zeppelin III

I got mine trophies in pewter with their favourite phrases to each other engraved on them. i know it sounds like utter shite, but they really appreciated it. Something about the personal touch. Cost about £70 for the pair i think.

Led Zeppelin - Latter Days

Why do women say:"Eeeurgh that smells disgusting!!!" Of course it does, it's a shite. That's why it's called 'shite'. If i say:"Right babe, i'm off upstairs for a perfume" and it's fucking minging, then i can see the logic. But it's not perfume, it's poop. Smelling foul is a large part of it's job.

Oh, i see. You want me to read other peoples posts now, is that it? I'm too busy for things like common sense i'll have you know!

All men are full of bullshit and just tell you what they think you want to hear. This is my conclusion: David - it's over! I think you've made someone rather relieved. Ah yes - the breaking up pity shag. Relieved indeed!

I'm raging because the bank have not allowed me access to my wages today, and say they won't until Wednesday. I'm going to go David Banner on they asses.

William Shatner? Brian Can't? Norris McWhirter? Oooooh, i hate quizzes, tell us the answer....

Great couple of goals from Martins, thought he worked hard and deserved them. Milner was excellent, always looking for the ball and taking it on. However, Bramble... . Is it just me or is he getting progressively worse? What a bombscare..... When's the draw?

Oh yes. A classic album indeed. The tour i saw them in Glasgow was the Stomp 442 tour, it also was a great album. Memories, eh?

You sir, are a legend! My best ever was Anthrax at the Glasgow Garage, 1995. The place was seriously fucking jumping. John Bush climbed a stack of amps and jumped off into the crowd and Scott Ian had a massive rant about how the band didn't get asked to contribute 'I am the law' to the soundtrack of the Judge Dredd(Stallone turkey0 that was just coming out. What a night - Newcy Broon, powder and metal.....

We would set up our economy based on the things we're really good at - drinking, fighting, deep frying mars bars and dying of heart attacks. Edited to add: i think i'm onto a winner here. Half the country would be in the army, a quarter making mars bars and a quarter brewing beer. There would be no need for old age pensions because everyone would die at 45 and therefore there would be more available jobs for the young 'uns coming out of school every year. Genius tbh.

Up until just recently i was on 11 points, 5+3+3. The last 2 installments of 3 were ridiculous. The first 3 was for driving 40 in a 30mph in the bloody middle of nowhere driving to Edinburgh, the second was for doing 37mph in a 30mph at about 12 midnight in a country lane. Have you ever tried changing a cd in a Porschre late at night trying to do 30mph. I think speed cameras are stupid. You just posted that to boast about your Porsche......

The Scottish are welcome to independence tbh, as long as they get their own currency, and support their own economy. The English would be having to do a Live Aid concert within a year just so you could feed yourselves. i think i'll change my no. 2 selection. I have decided i'm quite happy sending London all the alkie tramps and Gordon Browns we don't want.

There's a woman works in the grocers shop in my village who is the absolute double of Gary Neville. It is uncanny. So much so that the wife and i refer to her as 'whats her name....Gary Neville!' now

Napalm Death - Dog Vomit.