Monster

Rover 600 'N' Reg, one previous owner, 40k on the clock.

Fuck that! Who has ONE PINT on a night out?!?!?!?!?!?

We're with Powergen and they have us on £80 a month for gas and leccy for our 3 bedroom house.

Anyone know if the E370 is any good? The wife wanted an E900 for Chrimbo buthad a play with one of them last week and didn't like the touchscreen thingy. Is the 370 worth a punt?

M'WUH-HA-HA-HA-HA

Whoooooooooosh! And, yes, i have seen it. Laaaahvvly.

Anyone seen From Dusk Till Dawn? Got to be Slimy Hymen for me.......

Nope. I really was just listening to it. Now it's The Masterplan

Oasis - Cigarettes and alcohol

Next time i'm tucking into a kebab after 12 pints i'll remember how evil i am for being fat. Good argument really though. Can i expand it and say how much the windae lickers disgust me?

No, just plain ole sex appeal and charisma and you spell Charisma "Chu-Ching" right? you're talking crap young lady, you know damned well that if some pikey dwarf wearing a twatful hat mosied on up to you in the club you'd spit your Tropical Reef all over his wacky chappeau before you actually found the spasmodic shortarse attractive. However you could look like Wacky's furry be-spotted arsecheek and as long as his wallet was fatter than your lip, yon knicker elastic would snap at a hundred paces. Now that was funny!

In Scotland sic means a type of benefit claim preferred by denizens of Glasgow.

Puts me in mind of Mrs. Merton interviewing Debbie McGhee: "So Debbie, what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?"

Got to be done sadly. Good friend of mine was in a very similar situation a few years ago. It got so bad that the skank in question was flirting with him AT HER OWN WEDDING. I wouldn't have believed it if i hadn't been there to witness it myself. This was three weeks after she came to our flat looking like a panda after the specimen she was marrying had kicked seven shades out of her for the umpteenth time. My mate was severely cut up about the whole thing, but eventually (and after a lot of heartache) had to cut ties with her completely. It's a learning experience, but a sore one.

As for those hats, someone wants to have a word!

A temporary one done with henna ink and a wooden stick (bit like a toothpick). They last about a fortnight. Oh. Cheers for that. These young folks and their newfangled ideas. Whatever next, the telegraph without wires?

Plus achievements, minus the dogging. Yes. Think about: in Australia he won 5 Olympic golds. If he'd been British he'd have been shagging a plump 43 year old from Dudley in the back of a Vectra, thereby putting the 'Great' into Britain

Whats a henna tattoo?

Arrogant depressed retiring sportsamn with dubious personal habits? It's Australias Stan Collymore tbh.

He looks like he hasn't heard of bathing either.

I don't mind their music but that fucking twat Jay Kay needs a right fucking doing. Arrogant cockney wank.

My Grans 87 and still okay. My Auntie in Whitley Bay is 84 and losing her marbles faster than the Toon slide down the Prem. She asked my wife if she was related to me at our last family party. I think she's great though-she was moaning like old farts do about the money footballers get a few years ago until i said:"What about Shearer though?" Her eply:"Oh HE'S worth it....." Legend she is.

So why compensate them for something that they expect? Surely they're already being compensated for that by their wages? Totally shite wages though for risking their lives for their country. In Iraq they might be there for Bush's oil, but that aint their fault is it? To them it's still fighting for your country. Should definitely be looked after if they come home injured IMO.

The bird with her knockers out would get a bit cold?

Where's the tattoo on her right forearm gone?