beatty

None of the above.

Lost his "bit of quality" for four months

Excellent use of the dildo incident.

Think I'm done watching our 3pm Saturday games. Going to get into the habit of picking the most interesting game out of all the 3pms and sticking that on instead.

Relying on Stevey Fistpumps and Coloccini to make it through the season in one piece

Yanga-Mbiwa going to Roma on loan with an option to buy? Oh fucking dear Alan Pardew.

We're yet to find out if Chunky is any cop

Could you imagine how good we would be if we played all our games in Pardew's world? Death stares, single handily preventing teams from conceding by just standing on the sidelines and a perfect crowd setting for every stage of the game.

Need to put a high fence in around the pitch to keep those pesky fans out.

Erm, I hope none of you lot got caught up in this. http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/loom-band-charms-withdrawn-nationwide-after-testing-positive-for-cancerous-chemicals-9699968.html

Aarons is properly exciting, great that he's made such a big impact on a game so early. Thing is before he came on I was unsure which way his performance would go. He'd done the business against the dross in New Zealand, but really struggled in his substitute appearances before today. Guess that comes with the territory and it was a gamble that paid off. Still, not happy that he is the guy we had to turn to, but yeah what a day for the lad.

Cracks papered over, everywhere. Aarons has played an absolute blinder.

Oh yes.

Will cry myself to sleep if Pardew gets hailed for scraping a draw (or possibly a win) against Crystal Palace.

Heh, yeah. Pardew the genius brought Aarons on for his aerial threat from corners.

Really shouldn't be throwing an inexperienced kid on to try and rescue points against Crystal Palace. Just inept squad and match management from the cretin.

Will choke on my coffee if he doesn't replace Gouffran.

Aarons is the answer The lad is 100% not ready for this.

Oh look, we've got a corner.

All players who were on the right side at the time. Not sure who was there, think players were a little mixed up. Probably Ben Arfa to blame.

Utter shit from our right hand side. Nobody was alert to the danger if we lost the ball.

Cattermole is a very intelligent footballer with excellent game management iirc. Routledge scored an absolute ninja of a volley today.

Drawing level has masked a typically damp display. Riviere doesn't look like he's going to be up to much in front of goal. Don't need our striker to do any defensive work as CP are sitting very deep so I see no reason why Ayoze can't come sooner rather than later. Gouffran anonymous in the final third again.