Dr Kenneth Noisewater

The only person on here I can recall bigging-up Dowie (going as far as to suggest him as a future Toon manager) was HTL.

Ramsey bingo cards ready: Taking his top off in front of the camera to change into his whites; Simplifying the menu; A lick of paint and a good clean about the place; Bigging up the junior chef whilst pouring scorn on the head chef; Calling someone 'Big Boy'; Getting someone to cook for 'important clients' who turn out to be their family.

Non-matching bra & pants shows poor attention to detail. I don't like that.

Nail on head, its pure shit. Isn't it popular with the chav element?

The big fanny needs to have a word with himself. [/compassion]

My eyes! My eyes!

My thoughts exactly Renty.

They only close when you're asleep. (Apart from when they've been vandalised / burnt down).

Disco Dennis Sells Evening Gazettes in the High Street. Old NHS glasses and a perma-dirty face. Dresses up like a character from Saturday Night Fever at weekends and throws himself about the dancefloor in local clubs early on when no one else is dancing (he must be about 50 like). Looks a bit like Les from Vic Reeves Big Night Out. In the summer I saw him having a 'bath' in the sea with a bottle of fairy liquid

The Day of the Jackal is on BBC1 at 11.25 this evening. Worth recording if you've never seen it.

One of the producers of the series was being interviewed this week. Said that filming the sight (and sounds) of a pride of lions attacking a baby elephant was the most harrowing thing they had experienced.

From Beeb Sport:

Someone inform the RSPCA, put this suffering to an end.

Episode 7: Great Plains Sun 12 Nov, 9pm BBC One/BBC HD (repeated Sat 18 Nov, 6.10pm BBC Two) After filming for three years, Planet Earth finally captures the shy Mongolian gazelle. Only a handful of people have witnessed its annual migration. Don't miss the bizarre-looking Tibetan fox, captured on film for the first time. Over six weeks the team follow a pride of 30 lions as they attempt to hunt elephants. Using the latest night vision equipment, the crew film the chaotic battles that ensue at close quarters.

I've found the best form of defence is vitamin c & zinc lozenges from Holland & Barrett. I very rarely getting anything past the first stages of a cold. I think the zinc helps your body absorb the vit c which boosts your immune system.

Any good? I like him but I'm not sure about his chat show performances. I bet he sung, didn't he?

Aye, a cold is a cold but if you get flu you really know about it. I've got a sore throat and feel a bit under the weather. Could be to do with the gypo at work who coughed on me and left snotty tissues all over the desk mind.

What was the problem doc? Beginners error on my part really. Confusing my AV1's & AV2's and inputs & outputs, although the manual was a bit ambiguous (honest!). Also the piece of string I was using as a scart lead wasn't letting the tv communicate some of the extra fetures (direct recording, timer recording from the freeview programme guide etc.) to the dvd recorder. Full marks to Panasonic, a prompt and helpful reply from their customer care / technical advice people.

Geraint has been recalled apparently. Read was supposed to be better behind the stumps but not as good with the bat. However his recent work as a keeper has been no better than Jones so he can't really have any complaints.

Quoteth for truth. Had a chuckle when I read that on ceefax this morning. Hope he comes here as part of Shearers staff (presuming Lard Lad puts his masterplan into operation).

At this point, I can only assume he intends to travel back in time to change history. Good to hear he's "mystified" by the situation, as he hasn't changed anything, and by the sounds of it will continue to change nothing. Jesus Wept! He has asked Freddy for a DeLorean which he intends to drive down Barrack Road at exactly 88 mph (once he works out how to use that pesky flux capacitor).

J69 will be loving this.

Need him back tbh. Yep, more lightweight fannies is exactly what we need.