Ayatollah Hermione

The problem is that there’s nobody in midfield with any forward ambition on the ball. Someone like Mount or Grealish will pass, move and drag the opposition around, freeing up space for the likes of Rashford. Instead, Rice just knocks it side to side. You might not lose many games with 8 defenders on the pitch but you’ll not make enough chances to win many.

Because he’s massively negativ and on top of that, he’s now playing about 4 of them out of position. Coady and Mings sitting on the bench and he’s got a midfielder and a right back in the back three and then a right back playing left back.

Who could have predicted this complete lack of creativity or attacking movement?

Lamb and shit, more like.

All meat flavoured crisps taste the same, I’m afraid it’s amateur hour not knowing that, mate.

I wasn’t asked but I’m off for scran in Tynemouth for probably the last time until after Christmas and then it’s home to sit all day pretending to enjoy the telly without football because the world is a Corona hotbed. Even that is more enticing than discussing the GDP and hypothetical trade borders as a result of Scottish independence

Absolutely wouldn't surprise me if Sky expect people to pay it because of their "outstanding" coverage

Boothroyd has oversaw some fucking terrible results in his time in charge. In particular, a disastrous U21s tournament and has some baffling team selections, wedging players into his shitty formation. He’s saved by having a genuinely ridiculous selection of young talent to pick from. The England U21s could be a decent Premier League team tbh.

Saw three pubs in Newcastle closing their doors indefinitely today already. There’s another sector that the Tories have collapsed with incredible efficiency.

Refuse to believe supermarkets aren’t higher tbh

This is my worry tbh. As if two weeks is anywhere near enough to get it down and even then, the cycle will continue. Keeping the north in the highest tier while London runs amok seems very convenient

The North shut first, eh? Quelle fucking surprise

A good performance where he continually picked the wrong pass, was constantly on his heels and was involved in none of the goals. What an improvement.

I can’t believe you’re flagrantly flaunting Lockdown rules by allowing a cleaner into your home. And a Hispanic one at that (I presume). It’s enough to make me put my foot through my phone and send you the bill

I’d have thought it was giving Geordie Hero and full-time banter merchant/part-time footballer Andy Carroll his one year deal for his services to elbowing defenders. Ryder is slipping

It was a bit like a latter day Shola performance except Shola had the excuse of about three hip operations

We seem to be a lot better against teams similar to us I.e. utilitarian shite as we have the difference in ASM and Wilson. We’ll probably give a similar account of ourselves against West Brom, Sheffield United and Fulham while shitting the bed enormously against Leeds

Never known any actual footballer have less of a football brain than Joelinton. He never moves into space whatsoever

No betting slip to show, I see. What a gobshite

Just the 770 students at Northumbria Uni testing positive

Ah yes, that same British leniency that would see us build a Brexit Alcatraz if given the chance

I assume their next plan is to scour the globe for knowledge of the ancient rituals to summon forth Poseidon and have him do their bidding

I can drive a forklift, I’ll always have work. Even though I haven’t touched one for about 18 months, I can still carry pallets of rice under cover of dark to avoid the ration thieves

Bruce wants them to play. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have a fucking clue how to set up a team to do it. To be fair, he lets Shelvey do whatever he wants so he probably thinks being allowed to drop deep and play Hollywood balls is proper football

It’s The Thick of It. Specifically when one of the Tories suggests getting pensioners to drive ambulances