Ayatollah Hermione

He was let go because he fell out with the manager and, if you believe people who would know, the rest of the players. Hardly because of his ability.

Was there this much fanny batter being spilled when Les Ferdinand left?

Love Parky pulling mad old shite out of his arse and being all "i thought everyone knew this"

Not sure the hairdryer will do the trick, better destroy your router in case there's any viruses in it.

Get that recorded, throw it on Vine, become a superstar.

So, what's going on in here?

Cacapa Him getting hauled off after 28 minutes into a drubbing off Portsmouth at home under that fraud, Allardyce. Heady days.

DK will be spotted on "Sun, Sea and Sex Tourism" on Channel 5, stumbling out of a wank parlour with his pants undone in 4 months.

What if the aliens are God and he's been real along? Wow. Whoa.

Yes, imagine actually wanting to win games. He's a right fucking idiot, that bloke, mind.

Completely forgot about Steve Clarke's bizarrely good run as West Brom manager that season.

Man United with 100 points though

season we finished 5th IIRC. Had Wolves in 8th and they finished bottom.

he personally reminded me of some kind of Roberto Carlos/Phillip Lahm hybrid and I expect him to top our goalscoring charts come May.

Nee luck, then?

Try pausing and unpausing, that seems to help me. Sounds daft but something must rejigger.

shame that CT has packed his score predictions in. I was looking forward to our 38 game winning streak.

Mike Ashley's latest attempts to expand into China were fruitless, The Evening Chronicle understands.

The god of pasties, Greggsasaur

Pardew is basically the new Harry Redknapp for that lot.

Dan Gosling played well at the weekend. He's my Ben Arfa

"You lads want to try some Geordie tapas"

Mitrovic and Perez as a pair is it for me. Hopefully everything is about to click into place. Anyone catch the linesman who looked like him out of Sparks?

Nowt wrong with Golden Grahams, lads. I wouldn't pay three quid a bowl though. You can get a box for £1.80 or whatever. Just simple maths at the end of the day and those lads farting about with a cereal cafe need to take that into account.