Ayatollah Hermione

Fuck that. You keep cans in the fridge, have one about midday and you're sorted. These so-called experts don't know whether to shit or wind their watch.

Thought their two proper centre halves were back? If that's the case, those two are definitely shaky if their match against Liverpool is owt to go by. You'd fancy Mitrovic to bully Chambers, for example. Still though, we're still susceptible to height and Giroud is canny enough in the air. We could really do with Tiote finding some form because we could do with his presence in the middle AKA we could do with him snapping Ozil and Sanchez' tendons in half. Reckon we'll lose but it'll be another spirited loss. With these out of the way, we can look at beating West Ham and Watford and get started properly.

"Can't Feel My Face" does. That's a real title btw.

Fucking love Liquid Swords. It's LIQUID HIP-HOP (Lynn). Listening to The Weeknd's new one and he's went fully into generic pop mode. Considering how influential his mixtapes have been, I'm glad he's getting some recognition over it but his two proper albums are boring retreads of that style that are worse for the better production values.

Piss off. I'm going to steal this btw

I think Man City getting drawn into rock hard groups every season is UEFAs way of acting out FFP laws.

Nothing wrong with this. Let it go.

Aye, CT, it costs 20 quid for 3 adults and a bairn on the bus.

The Onion's article on this is tremendous http://t.co/5O0H2cszAl

Usually when I'm hungover. I've never been one for cuffing one off in the shower, mind you. Anyone here partake in that particular seediness?

:lol: I've had a good time in Sheffield the times I've been down. Every single building there could do with being touched up like but it's alreet.

I like how your guilty pleasures are acclaimed dramas and the pleasures you flaunt everywhere are your love of Wham and Casualty.

This is CT's way of getting him and his missus to watch a bit of grot together.

When the camera moves from his feet up, it looks like someone trying to keep their balance on a revolving dance floor.

That team is garbage, mind. We look a much better outfit this time around. Aided by some decent management too like.

You look at the players on the bench who haven't featured much and you've got to fancy them to control the game. The likes of Aarons, De Jong, Thauvin, Tiote, Cisse etc. They're a cut above League 2 players. I assume Toney, Lascelles and Darlow will get a run-out too

The last time I got anything right was my name on my GCSE Biology exam and that was touch and go.

Fucking whoosh

Aye, reckons they "dominated" the game today. Utter shite. Mitrovic, Thauvin and Perez were all unlucky not to score.

When you look at what Man Utd have spent and the pedigree of Van Gaal, it's a disgrace that they look so ordinary. We've spent big this summer, brought in actual coaches and we look a completely different outfit. Van Gaal seems to just be signing whoever falls into his lap and they're all over the shop. Depay looks exciting but did they really need a central midfielder? The attack, in general, is devoid of real strength, pace or height which made life incredibly easy for us today, the last 10 minutes aside. An side with Rooney and Hernandez as the strikers isn't going to do much. I also liked Scholes trying to brush off Pedro signing for Chelsea too. "Well, if Man Utd wanted him, they'd have got him" Or maybe Pedro wants to play for the league champions and train under Mourinho instead of being played out of position by Falcon Heed and creating chances for an anemic, square headed scouser.

See? 5-0 predictions ffs. Rooney is garbage.

Clip of you lot

Near the main station, it is!

Interesting to look back on this with the hindsight afforded by Pardew's reign. I reckon the original article was scarily prescient. A lot of the criticisms brought up were echoed in the years following 11/12. It's almost like a sub-par manager was given a reprieve by Ba, Cisse, Ben Arfa and Cabaye firing us to 5th. If we're going full Stevie, I was well skeptical even then. The 5th finish clouded my judgement somewhat but still, first impressions and that.

I like your thinking. Become a trophy husband, mate. Live the good life. Because I've had a drink, I'm pricing up trips to Munich for early next year under the proviso of getting absolutely fucking wrecked. The thought of using AirBnB crossed my mind but I know that, even a small group of us, would be falling through some poor German's bloke's walls and causing all kinds of havoc. Anyone got any hotel recommendations or, indeed, where to start with Munich in general? It'd be a good old piss-up but I'd personally like to see a good History museum and a good restaurant to try the assorted meat and dumplings that pass as Bavarian Cuisine.