Ayatollah Hermione

He's been at the BBC for fucking years and he hasn't said anything worth listening to in that time. The sooner they hire another fat, mentally ill black man and fuck him off, the better.

Ah yes, the lean mean contender that doesn't actually want to contend for any trophies.

What a dopey cunt.

If anyone can create a giant rat maze that's set out like Adventure for the Atari 2600, I'll pay upwards of £2.50 in bus fare to come and see it.

90 minutes is even too long for films. Back in my day, Laurel and Hardy would have you rolling in the aisles and they only needed half an hour to get to the bit where they fall into the fountain delivering the piano or when Ollie destroys the wooden shack when he flies out of that tube in that one where they're carpenters. These so-called artists want to hurry up if you ask me.

My drawing hasn't got any better than that tbh.

Any cheese is Christmas cheese if you eat it at Christmas.

Does she come with the meal?

Christ. It'll be talking shit on here within 3 years. CT over the keyboard saying "I think you meant to type this, Billy" and compounding his bollocks. Aye, all the best that like.

The Bathstore on Team Valley

He's in the laugh-a-minute world of retail where he can have a wank in the toilets in peace.

Hope Cabella signs and the first photo of him is him pissing on a Montpellier top like those old car stickers.

All of this reminds me of my mate sending me a 10 second snapchat at about 11 on a Monday morning that was him, watching bizarre torture porn with a line of cocaine in front of him all while Manic Monday played in the background.

Is that line from The Viz?

I'd push the brother aside and I'd get the other three, bend them all over and I'd do the drummer, the lead singer and the one who plays violin.

Dave will morph into a Richard Madeley figure.

Thought the first 10 minutes of House of Fools was incredible and a proper piss-take of over-the-top odd couple sitcoms and interactions. Then, it just turned into one. Shame.

Humanity's next step in evolution will come when they cordon that place off from everyone else. Nobody has come up with a suitable explanation of why their culture is so unrelentingly weird.

Glad Desmond Tutu is here to fill the hole left by KSA and Manc-Mag's disappearance like.

Anyone seen/heard Tig Notaro's stuff over the last year or two? The show in which she improvs an entire hour of comedy about the last 6 months of her life (diagnosed with breast cancer, mother dying, going through a break-up) is an amazing show. Black comedy at its best.

aye, canny that, sounds about £3.75 if my maths are reet. That'll do me next time, I'm in.

Less social club flirting, Fist, more answering questions. How much did that set you back? The tasteful picture got my happy bits tingling.

Poverty

LTB was always good value like. A vintage year was 2011