Ayatollah Hermione

Honestly worried about what Joelinton will do to the children of the bamps. He’s a fucking wrecking ball against fully grown men

I do like looking at these kinds of STATS as you can actually infer who the good sides are with this kind of thing. On the left, you have an unbelievably well drilled and organised side and on the right, you have a collection of fraudsters wandering around while their manager hopes for his luck to continue long past its sell by date. They’re an absolute shambles going forward. It’s saying something that Maguire has seemingly rode out his bad spell to look like one of the only adults in that team

A midfielder to cover Tonali/Willock and that’s it, I reckon. Once everyone is back, it’ll be time to strap in and finish strongly

Erik the Fraud throwing Maguire up front for the last 10 minutes ffs The bloke is Pulis with a love for jazz tabs

Ten Hag is a miracle worker tbf. He’s got a team with a negative goal difference into the top half.

That Rangnick team that turned up when we were the worst team in the country was fucking shit as well, mind. They scraped a 1-1 when we had Manquillo, Fraser and Shelvey playing

Worst Man Utd team since last season anyway

1-0 doesn’t show how much we fucking murdered them and it’s criminal that it was probably 50/50 that they’d get a point after Pope went off. Yet another game against a good side that Ten Hag has lost.

How the fuck is this 0-0?! These must have just renewed their deal with the devil for another 10 year

Genuinely think we might need to get Dummett in at centre half against Everton at this rate

Unchanged side. At least Krafth is back for a warm body Wonder if he could do half an hour at right wing

Germany will struggle to get out of that group, I reckon

Losing to Millwall as we speak. RTG will be interesting as they were full of praise for their fans last season (because Sunderland won)

I’m sitting with my feet up on the sofa in tribute to Marcelino

Sounds like bollocks from them to me tbh. UEFA will be breathing a sigh of collective relief that PSG have their destiny in their own hands. More glamour ties to sell in the Asian market with PSG through than there is Newcastle.

This is top tier Patton solo nonsense

We’re all computer code in the simulation so you just get assimilated into the singularity

Colgate are going to need a new face now.

What in the name of fuck are you two doing to this thread?

I could see Ancelotti taking it tbh. He’ll jump at the chance to work with the more talented Bellingham brother

Warnock has basically become a Championship relegation expert so of course they want him in for a promotion charge

I think it makes it worse than I’m only 33 and that was my first thought for a joke

I hear Simon Weston wants her pissflaps for ears

Tbf, this is the one time Howe would be more than justified. Let that professional mask slip, Edward