Kitman

Howay the Lads! We want 2, we want 2

I thought Best had got a goal at last

Why couldn't this be Fitz Hall and Leon Best. Best would have missed

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_Taylor_(footballer) Shame the author couldn't spell 'natural' and 'skilful'. Hey ho.

I had us promoted as champions on 96 points iirc, 2 pts ahead of WBA

Hasn't stopped him from playing for us in the past this time his feet will be encased in kevlar

If his jaw's broken, at least Taylor won't be able to give any interviews for a while

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/e...tor/default.stm

Shades of Big Dunc about all of this. Except Carroll isn't permanently injured.

Doubt barton will play anything more than a bit part, having been out for so long. Can't be match fit.

Completely out of character for Carroll ... Just because he's halfway to decent he has to be a caveman, though maybe he's halfway to decent because he's a caveman. Taylor has no excuse. Should have stunned Carroll with a 'he went thataway' arm pointing routine. Maybe Carroll took exception to being pointed at repeatedly?

Sounds like 2 players sorting out their differences, probably both too big for their boots. I expect it happens all the time, the drawback here is that Carroll's fettled him good and proper. Not the smartest thing to do when you're already on a charge....

Don't make the bet, CT. We'll miss you when you're gone! Dang, did I say that? It's as good as it gets mate! Bang to rights!

Dang, did I say that?

Hey ho. Let the club sort it out....

That's like turkeys voting for Christmas, it won't ever happen. I think realism is already coming into transfer fees in the PL, and wages will follow. Presumably budgets will have to be slashed if Sky don't put as much money in. Maybe Mike Ashley is a visionary and ahead of his time after all

Don't make the bet, CT. We'll miss you when you're gone!

You're right, but you fail to comprehend how much has changed in the league in that time. The spending from Liverpool, Chelsea and Manchester United has accelerated at a crazy level. Plus now you have Manchester City in the picture. It's MUCH harder to qualify for the Champions League nowadays than it was when we did it previously. We should be able to challenge for the Europa though. Challenging for the top half of the table is a reasonable expectation, and looks beyond us at the moment. Yeah, I too think that we should but only in a few years time after we stabilise in the League first. At the moment we don't have a squad that's seemingly capable of Europa qualification and we know that we're not going to see the type of gargantuan influx of funds that will see us immediately compete with the likes of Aston Villa, Tottenham and Everton. 2 years might seem like a long time now, but it will fly by. In the meantime I think we have to set reasonable expectations of what we're capable of all things considered. Agreed. With CH at the helm and Fat Ash in charge, realistically we're only looking at survival but this shouldn't be acceptable. I'd settle for sustained improvement in the team over the longer term but I'm not convinced we'll get it.

You're right, but you fail to comprehend how much has changed in the league in that time. The spending from Liverpool, Chelsea and Manchester United has accelerated at a crazy level. Plus now you have Manchester City in the picture. It's MUCH harder to qualify for the Champions League nowadays than it was when we did it previously. We should be able to challenge for the Europa though. Challenging for the top half of the table is a reasonable expectation, and looks beyond us at the moment.

Not at all but i do think we will spend about 15-20mil in the summer...we HAVE to and he knows that! Totally spot on. Ashley won't risk relegation again AND has the cash to do what needs to be done. I think he might well spend that much over the season...but he'll wait until January to see if he really needs to. I really hope not. I hate panic buying. Money spent in January to bring players into a club in a tumultuous situation means you pay too much for players who aren't wanted elsewhere. On top of that they come into a club where morale is low so already they get off on the wrong foot. You get much better value buying players in the off-season. They have a much better chance to settle in the club and get to know their team mates with the air of pre-season excitement and positivity. I'd much rather 15mill spend in the summer than 20 mill spent in January. Ideally though it would be 15mill in the summer then an additional 5-10 in January to cover any injuries or deficiencies that have become apparent across the season. I'd prefer us not to spend too much in the summer to be honest, exactly because they don't have long to settle even with a pre-season. I think we have a far better chance with the squad that won promotion and want to play for the shirt. Maybe one or two additions tops. I think this is the way it will go anyway. A new striker and a midfielder most probably, maybe with a loanee or two, with a couple of squad players going the other way (hopefully including Butt). Hughton will be retained as manager.

A totally made up article by Ed Harrison. Seems we're still newsworthy.

Getafe? Getafuck more like! Like Kevin, I'd be amazed if we signed these players. However I'm not prepared to cut my balls off if I'm wrong....

Is this fair though? The NUFC speciality is rushing players back from injury, ensuring that they're never fit and then break down again. Look at Stephen Carr for Birmingham City for instance, I understand he's been a regular this season - they said he was finished playing for us. I wonder whether he was gash or just not fully fit?

Peter Cook Spike Milligan Eric Morecambe Graham Chapman I could do with a laugh

He has the face of a man who would steal the gold fillings from your teeth as you lay in the mortuary. Alex is right imo, he's a hypocrite to criticise the PL for distancing local fans from the game; he did his utmost to corporatise it and price out poorer fans and families when he owned it. I don't think he's ever viewed the club as much more than a cash cow and an ego trip.